“There it was. A hard lump directly under her right nipple. ‘Honey? Please come here a minute.’ My husband and I exchanged a look of fear. It was so dark you could see it through her skin. We just hugged and bawled. ‘Not our baby girl,’ we both kept saying. ‘Mommy, what’s wrong?’ Her sweet face changed.”
“Have you ever been stuck at the grocery store talking to a Nancy because she asked about your 9 month old, and you told her he still wasn’t sleeping well, hence the reason you had so much coffee in your cart? You’re met with a horrified expression, ‘Your 9 month old, still isn’t sleeping?!’ GUYS. We have got to stop.”
“I couldn’t look at my husband when he got home. I couldn’t look at him for days. I was so ashamed of myself, and I was terrified he would blame me for what happened to our sweet Paxton. I hid in our bedroom. One of my best friends came over unexpectedly, brought dinner, crawled in bed with me, and let me cry to her. She didn’t say much. She didn’t have to. I was angry at her for showing up, but I am so thankful that she did. My heart needed her presence.”
“We heard about twin boys with Shaken Baby Syndrome. It was a super stormy morning, we ended up having to pull off the interstate. I was dying to get to them. Everyone held back tears as long as we could. Malakai was scared. He had no idea who we were. He’d hardly look at my husband. He passed away less than 6 hours after saying goodbye to his siblings. I still would have driven to a teeny tiny town in the pouring rain to pick he and his twin up to bring them to their forever home.”
“Tell me again how breastfeeding my toddler is just for myself? Doing loads of laundry with a child hanging off my breast is just for me, right? Breastfeeding a child swinging monkey-like while your nipple is in their mouth is what us self-absorbed mothers are constantly longing for! No one is breastfeeding their toddler for themselves. It is for their child alone.”
“I am an outgoing and relatively happy woman, but my hormones were out of whack. I was sleep deprived. ‘You talk too much. You slacked on the laundry and now look at this pile! Your car is disgusting. Your friends are tired of your complaining.’ Something inside said, ‘Tell your husband.’ I was scared. If I lost my battle with my mind, he would never forgive himself.”
“My mom chose to birth me during extreme hardship in her life. I was conceived out of abuse, my biological father passed before I was born. She lived alone, with no family close. Regardless, my mom said to me, ‘As soon as I heard your heartbeat and saw you on the ultrasound, I knew I loved you.’ My mom chose sacrifice when she chose life for me.”
“It was just another flight plan headed to Chicago, where my parents reside. I’d been anxiously awaiting to pick up my husband from this flight. We had finally set aside a weekend kid-free. Our hotel was booked, and it was just US! I parked in the cell phone lot at the airport awaiting his text to ‘pull around’ while the kiddos sat in the backseat. I received a call, but I didn’t answer. As soon as it went to voicemail, I got a text. ‘Andrew isn’t answering his phone.’”
“What they said next sent chills down my spine. ‘It seems he had it loaded and ready to threaten you in case you came back.’ He was arrested and booked that night. I loved this man, madly. I received a call from my husband in jail. ‘Hello?’ His response, ‘I’ll never forgive you for this. You ruined my life.’ I hung up. I knew I had to pull all my pieces together – if not for me, then for her. My daughter would never get to know this side of me.”
“The nurse at the jail came in with a serious look on her face. ‘Hunny, when was the last time you had sex?!’ I nonchalantly answered, ‘this morning.’ She then asks me, ‘Well, have you been sexually active a lot lately?!’ My fiancé had just gotten home from jail a month ago. ‘Your pregnancy test is positive.’ I broke down in tears, called my fiancé. ‘This is good Brianna. This is your chance to get clean and do the right thing. I finally get to be a dad, please don’t cry.’”
