“My husband insisted we go to the hospital. He picked me up like a baby, placed my body on the passenger seat and tossed my legs inside the car. The one thing that sticks out to me isn’t the headache itself, or the pain. It was when I asked the doctor what could have caused it. He had no idea the strong, healthy-looking, tanned, smiling man next to me was just diagnosed with terminal cancer.”
“The Poison Control guy was like, ‘The biggest risks are cramping, dehydration, and diaper rash.’ DIAPER RASH! I was NOT ready for this dude to come at me with diaper rash. I completely lost it. He kept chuckling and going, ‘Oh boy. Oooooooh boy.’ I’m wheezing just thinking about it.”
‘”You shouldn’t have come. This isn’t a good place for our newborn.’ Yes, but I couldn’t leave my husband in the ICU alone. ‘Maddie is so little, and you are breastfeeding. I’ll be okay. Take her home.’ He insisted I get some sleep. The next morning, I got the phone call. ‘We will talk when you get here.’ I hung up the phone and said to myself, ‘He has cancer.’ I cried the entire way to the hospital.”
“We were going to travel, tackle, and triumph over every inch of this world. I asked myself one very important question, ‘How can I transform my son’s fleeting life and too-soon death into something of value?’ I thought I lost the chance to have a great adventure with Cole when I lost him, but I think our great adventure together is really just beginning.”
“The hardest part was telling my mom. She had NO IDEA I was even having sex. My baby daddy would walk by me like he never even knew me. Yet, if I knew then, pregnant at 15, that my child would pass away in a tragic car accident at only 18, would I still have chosen to keep him? The answer is yes. A billion times, YES.”
“My parents frantically came down the stairs. The entire left side of my mom’s body was numb. My dad was taking her to the hospital. Contrary to my wishful thinking, my mom was not going to be the ‘miracle.’ There I was. 19 years old, trying to figure out how I would go on in a world without my mom in it.”
“‘Babe, babe,’ my wife whispered. She was holding a pregnancy test. ‘Is this a prank?,’ I thought. She placed her palm across her mouth. She nodded as my jaw dropped. ‘Yes, I’m really—,’ Before she could finish her sentence, I picked her up, spun her in circles while showering her with kisses. ‘Oh my Gosh,’ I repeated, at least 10 times.”
“While I was away, there were so many offers to cook for him, help him out, watch the kids so he can get a rest. Like the load was huge so there was support. For HIM. It’s crazy, because all of that – I needed. I needed that support.”
“I get a call from the geneticist. The call drops 3 separate times. The most important call of our life and I miss it. I sit and wait. My phone rings again. He says, ‘Genetics just confirmed Evie has Rett Syndrome.’ He says, ‘There’s no cure. We can’t change it. You can’t do anything.’ My heart sank. This was serious.”
“When we lost our first baby, it felt more like a fluke. When we lost our second baby, it no longer felt normal; it felt like my fault. I was afraid of what it would do to my relationship. Would he blame me? Was I letting him down? Did he CARE? Those questions became my insecurities.”
