“On the outside, we looked normal. But behind closed doors, dark secrets hid. My younger sister woke up while it was happening. She said, ‘Daddy can you do that to me like you do to Shannon?’ He told her, ‘No it’s only for her.’ I was only in 4th grade and it tore me apart. I still hear and feel him breathing down my neck.”
“That’s when our eyes met. It was like time stopped. It was like the music on the dance floor silenced, and all I could hear was my own heartbeat. I still remember what the room smelled like. I couldn’t look away. I was frozen. This was him. I knew it, and felt it, from my head to my feet.”
“A lady behind me in line was excited to see her. After a few head pets, the lady told her to ‘have a good day.’ I almost lost it. I almost fell to the floor. The cashier went to hand me my receipt and I missed. The tears filled my eyes. I couldn’t grab a receipt. I couldn’t speak.”
“My husband, who’d been taking in my every word, looks at me, solemnly. ‘Wow,’ is all he can formulate. ‘That seems like a lot.’ I sincerely thought motherhood would look different.”
“To the annoyed mom at the store, I wasn’t eavesdropping. It can be so frustrating. I get it. But, I WISH I was doing that.”
“We hadn’t prepared for this scenario. ‘NO!’ I cried. ‘I don’t want a c-section! Please! I don’t want a c-section!’ Crazy-eyed, I waddled as gushes of warm liquid ran down my legs. I completely lost it!”
“Shortly after, we found out we were expecting. I was a wreck. I knew no part of me wanted that. I was a child myself, terrified of changing my life. I hadn’t realized he’d been seeking satisfaction from other women. I became uncomfortable breathing the same air as him.”
“‘I had a brother,’ they’ll say. Perhaps he’ll tell people about that morning, watching us screaming over his brother’s body. Or maybe he’ll hold that in his memories quietly, to spare others that sadness.”
“We had 5 kids and had just celebrated 6 years of marriage. Our entire life crashed, the walls built with facades and fantasies. I was secretly dying inside. It was silent, painful. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d be taking family photos without a husband, my children’s father.”
“‘Why? Why now?’ Alex had just become a dad. I couldn’t imagine my life without Alex. I didn’t know how I would raise our son alone and it killed me to think Ezra would never fully know his dad. I was watching my husband slowly die of cancer.”
