‘WHAT IF THEY TAKE MY KIDS?’ I dig around the house, opening boxes and leaving folders full of paper sprawled open like a tornado hit it.’: Mom shares ‘one hour in a life with anxiety’

“My brain is on hyperdrive. ‘They’ll probably arrest you, too. But is the gate closed? The dog can escape if the gate isn’t closed.’ Now, it’s 9:30 p.m. and I’m lying in bed having a panic attack because I can’t prove my kids are even mine. The only solution was to get out of bed.”

‘If you withdraw care now, it’ll be easier to say goodbye.’ That’s not how love works. The looks of pity deepened.’: Mom births baby with Hypoxic Encephalopathy, ‘We never gave up hope’

“I sped to the house and scooped up her purple lipped, shivering body, then dropped to the floor and set her on top of my chest. We had to be on our top game 24 hours a day because if we slacked, she’d die. Discussions of death were as common as, ‘Hey, I emptied the dishwasher.’”

‘As I closed your bedroom door, I felt a whisper over my heart. ‘It’s not going to be like this for long. This is the most he’ll ever need his mama.’: Mom urges ‘hold on, soon you’ll have to let go’

“Today was hard. You woke up angry. ‘Want my mommy,’ was said more times than I could count. You were attached to my leg, pushing and shoving and prodding. By the end of the day, I had enough. But as I closed your bedroom door, I felt a whisper over my heart. ‘It’s not going to be like this for long.’ Soon, everything will change. Soon, I’m going to have to start letting you go, little by little.”

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