‘Motherhood isn’t about where you came from, but how you rise to the occasion.’: Mom shares appreciation for ‘warrior women’ in her life, grandma who stood in the gap

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“My grandfather’s second wife, Kathy, stayed in our life way longer than she had to.

My grandfather died and she just kept coming.

When my dad and his siblings all bottomed out, before my cousins and I were even born, my Gram insisted they stay on track.

When they called from jail, rarely, if ever, did she bail them out.

When my dad and his wife divorced because of drugs and alcohol, his wife took the kids, and she insisted then too.

Motherhood is about more than being biologically connected and literally maternal.

It’s voluntary closeness.

To me, it’s about warrior women who persist.

There are other mothers beyond the ones you see with children.

She could be the woman who unknowingly guided you in roles you never saw a mother in at all.

The ones you thought really just couldn’t get ‘it’ because they didn’t birth a child.

She could be the mother who never had her own children but rose to the challenge of raising another woman’s.

Or my Gram, the woman who helped raise four children she didn’t birth, and whom today is burying her last.

That’s the woman warrior love of motherhood.

It’s not a one size fits all skill. Just like no mother has a one size fits all kind of love.

It’s any woman who persists in pursuit of a good life for children, no matter whom they belong to, no matter what age they become.

It’s understanding well after they are gone, a mother’s love lingers on.

My grandfather’s second wife, Kathy, will always be in my life.

In fact, I’m sure and I hope my Gram will outlive me, too.

Motherhood is not about where you came from, it’s about how you rise to the occasion.”

grandparents and granddaughters sit together in front of a polaroid of the young grandparents
Courtesy of Wallflower Writing

This story was submitted to Love What Matters  by Wallflower Writing at Detroit Moms. You can follow her journey on Instagram and her websiteSubmit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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