Why I’m Done Explaining My Decisions

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“Why do women feel the need to EXPLAIN?

We explain why we work full time.

Or part-time.

Or work from home.

Or why we left work to stay home with the kids.

We explain why we decided to leave him.

Or stay with him.

Or have another baby.

We explain all our parenting choices (especially our decision to bottle or breastfeed…I’ve done both).

We apologize for the condition of our homes.

Or our clothes.

We explain the reasons why we cut our hair.

Or why we haven’t returned to our pre-baby weight.

We give excuses for why we can’t make it to the party.

Or can’t volunteer.

Or can’t make the trip.

Or why we need help from a nanny a few hours a week.

We say things like, ‘Oh, excuse the mess!’ or ‘Don’t mind my hair!’ or ‘I’m so sorry I can’t be there!’ followed by a string of explanations.

I guess we want to please our mothers and husbands and bosses and children and neighbors and coworkers and friends and siblings and children’s teachers and those ladies from church and people who drop by unannounced and those random strangers at the store.


But, you want to hear something funny?

I’ve been married almost twenty years now, and I’ve NEVER heard my husband explain his choices.

To anyone.

Not his choice to work 60 hours a week.

Or his choice to coach basketball nearly every evening.

Not his choice to go trail running or shave his head and grow a beard or drive a Suburban or buy a new mountain bike (that cost a small fortune).

I’ve never once heard him open the door to our house and explain why there are shoes on the floor or why the entryway is half-painted or why he’s wearing what he’s just…WEARING.

He is who he is and his ‘NO’ means no and when he can’t make it to the party he just says so.

It’s absurd.

And really…

I’ve decided I am finished explaining every single choice I am absolutely FREE to make.

I’m through with unnecessary excuses and apologies and rationalizations for the choices I believe are best for ME.

And my family.

I’m done.

This is ME.

This is who I am.

How I look.

What I like.

How I believe.

And the way I choose to spend my time.

That’s it.

No explanation necessary.”

mom softly smiling in selfie with hair down
Courtesy of Mikala Albertson

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Mikala Albertson of Ordinary on Purpose. Follow her on journey on Facebook, Instagram, and her website. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.

Read more from Mikala here:

The Size Of Your House, The Number On The Scale, The Resentment Buried In Your Heart—It Doesn’t Matter In The End

Motherhood Is In The Tiny Details

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