“My son still needs to be cuddled to sleep. He’s nearly four. People often ask how I stay so patient. The truth is, I don’t. Not always. I try my best. But all I know is that he still needs me to get to sleep.
And that is all.
My mother told me amidst one of my moments of impatience with my son, ‘You are the adult, he is the child’. And that stuck with me. Whenever my children are going through something that requires my patience. Tantrums. Not sleeping. Overtired. Driving me to the brink of insanity… Whatever it may be. I AM THE ADULT.
And I don’t mean that in the sense that I am older and therefore need my children’s respect. It’s nothing to do with demanding that they look up to me and it’s got absolutely no relation to discipline.
It’s because I am in better control of my own emotions. He is still learning. Joining him in his moments of craziness and upset are only going to wind him up further. He has not yet learned to regulate his emotions. Keeping this in the forefront of my mind always helps me to remain as calm and patient as possible.
He will one day fall asleep without needing to be in my arms.
He won’t have tantrums over which cup he wants to drink out of.
And there will come a time when he will probably find me a bit uncool and would rather hang out with his friends than his dear old mother.
But until that time comes: I am the adult. He is the child. And I will try my best to be gracious, understanding and accepting of his needs.”
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