“Don’t be fooled by this happy family photo… it’s not always peaches and rainbows.
The other day I went to get Chinese food. Everyone knew their order and told me exactly what they wanted except Sarah. ‘She said, ‘Just get me whatever’. I rattled off a few dishes and she just kept saying ‘I don’t care just get me anything.’
You see we’ve been together for almost 10 years now. I have like spidey senses on stuff like that. I’ve seen her eat almost every dish on the menu so there was literally a 51/52 chance I would get it wrong.
I needed a plan to get me out of this one. So, when I arrived I called her being all cute and started reading the entire menu. I know right… brilliant. It didn’t work. She saw right through it. I could hear the kids screaming in the background and I was only up to number 13 when she huffed and hung up on me.
That was it. My night was made. My future was set. My life was done. My marriage would be on the rocks within the hour. I was fucked. I felt like Woody when he got left behind by Andy. Like a lost toy amongst a sea of prawn chips and crispy noodles I did what any man would do. I asked the Chinese lady. But Mrs. Kwon didn’t seem to care. She just kept telling me the price while I ummm’d and aaah’d over the final dish.
Then it hit me. Sweet & Sour Combination. Literally sweet, sour, chicken and pork. It ticked every box. I was back in business baby!!!
Oh I strutted back into the house and gave everyone their dishes like a grandad handing out presents. It was glorious. I was the man.
Sarah looks me in the eye and says, ‘I wanted combination chow mein… how do you not know my order after 8 years.
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