To My Son With Autism: I Will Never Stop Trying To Give You All You Deserve

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Dear Odin,

When you were born, my life changed for the better.

I never had a father so I had nothing to compare what it would be like being one to you. My only hope was that you always felt safe, loved, seen, heard, and cared for.

I know I get it wrong sometimes, and I am thankful for the grace you give me to try again. I will never stop trying to give you all you deserve and need.

You are a genius. I understand that you connect to the world in a way more beautiful and spiritual way than most other humans.

You are so in tune with the divine that when you smile, joy beams out. The community, and now the world, get to experience this.

Even if they don’t understand why or what the feeling is, you are the one that’s bringing forth that feeling in people. And it’s pure love, because you are pure.

You are so talented. The music you create comes from the vibrations you feel all around you and that is something that only a natural artist can exude.

I get such peace hearing you sing and write music. You bring your history to your craft and it’s always fully you. I strive to have that kind of vulnerability daily.

Your sense of humor is like no other. I love the tiny subtle tricks you pull daily just to get a laugh.

When you hide your television remote and laugh when I’m all over the house looking for it.

Or when you so kindly take my hand and start walking out of your bedroom door like you are about to show me something. Then as soon as I walk through the threshold of your door you say ‘goodnight’ and slam the door in my face. Comedic genius.

I am honored to be able to love you and have you love me back.

My childhood was void of this love. You have taught me the true meaning of being a father and what love looks like.

It asks for nothing in return. It’s a feeling that can’t be bought, fabricated, or false. Love is the truth, and you always speak the truth, with or without words.

When you were born, the doctors had doubts about your ability to walk, live a normal life, and the longevity of life for you. I believe even back then you were determined to beat the odds.

The doctors were not wrong in their predictions, but they definitely didn’t know your tenacity and determination would be what it is. You not only walk through life, but you run with joy.

You have graduated high school, met some of the raddest people and recorded songs that have been heard by thousands. And you just may be the first nonverbal autistic human to be nominated and WIN a grammy. The sky is the limit, buddy.

Lastly, I want to thank you for always being authentically yourself.

If you are mad, you let us know. If you are happy, you let us know. The world needs transparency like yours. You help me to be a better communicator of my emotions and I strive every day to be even better for you.

You are my biggest joy and inspiration, and me and your mom will ALWAYS be there for you when you need us.

I love you. I gotcha.

PS – Thank you for snuggling the same way for 19 years. The routines that come with raising a kid with autism are truly beautiful.

Love,

Dad

Courtesy of Tim Frost

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Tim Frost. You can follow his journey on his website and Instagram. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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