LJ Herman is a former editor at Love What Matters and lives in Colorado. LJ is a concert, ticket and technology enthusiast. He has seen the Dave Mathews Band over one hundred times and counting.
‘You’ve asked me where I’ve been. You said, ‘I seem off.’ You’ve told me through texts that you miss my posts. I can’t play that role in your life right now.’
“You’re thinking: ‘How are we supposed to know if you don’t tell us?’ It doesn’t work like that, at least not for me. I haven’t been there recently. Have you noticed? I don’t have it in me.”
‘You don’t understand, they will never help your family.’ I was blown away. He was getting worse by the day. ‘I’ve never had an experience like this before,’ the crisis worker apologized.’
“On my way home I received the phone call. It was totally incoherent from all the screaming. I desperately tried to find out what was happening. It was my daughter. ‘It’s Josh,’ I finally heard through the screams.”
‘Why are you wearing a T-shirt?,’ I asked when I picked her up. ‘I had to put something on because I need privacy.’ She started bawling.’: Mom urges daughter’s appearance is ‘not nearly as important as her education’
“‘Yeah, it will be nice out, you can wear a dress.’ It didn’t occur to me an adult would look at my 5-year-old child and think wearing a dress was inappropriate. She was told she needed to leave class and go to the nurse’s office. The nurse told her, ‘She needed to cover her body.'”
‘I was the victim of a rape. I had a professor who propositioned me, a boyfriend who passed away, a stalker, and cancer—twice. I’m no stranger to a painful past.’
“Easter is about waiting. I know, that sounds absurd. This is a holiday about a Friday free from work and fake grass you’ll be finding around your house for the remainder of the year. It’s about Peeps and your people. A guy on a cross and a guy in a (rather scary) bunny suit. Jesus waited 3 days; it took me 33 years.”
‘Oh, my goodness.’ I say out loud. ‘What mommy?’ I look down at my daughter. ‘Oh nothing,’ I say. The last thing I need is for my kindergartner to be afraid to go to school.’
“The hairs on my neck stood up for the first time. After picking my daughter up from school, I got a text message from my husband, a principal. ‘We’re in lockout,’ it said. It was unprecedented. Suddenly, it felt serious.”
‘You grab a baby wipe to get the peanut butter off your leggings and pack it in the pocket on the door with umpteen other tissues and trash. She’s got it made.’
“She’s got it made. That’s what we think as we notice the mom who just parked beside us and got out of her brand new (and clean) SUV, sporting crisp, ironed clothes, coordinating shoes, and an Italian leather handbag.”
‘You are donating your kidney, correct?,’ the nurse asked. ‘That’s what my kidnappers said,’ I cracked. The color was draining from my face.’
“‘Honey, are you sure you want to do this?’ I was terrified. I hadn’t even started a family. What if I got sick in adulthood? What if my husband did? The drugs were kicking in. My husband’s floating head was the last thing I saw.”
‘I bought every plaid skirt I could find, because Cher wore plaid skirts in ‘Clueless.’ I shopped at Express and pretended to like the movie ‘She’s All That.’
“When I was in junior high, I wore Tommy Hilfiger polos, Dr. Martens and I doused myself in CK One perfume, because everyone else was. I had no idea who I was. I became a continual copy-cat, and it continued into adulthood. I didn’t know any other way to be. I was exhausted.”
‘YOU CAN’T HAVE THAT, YOU’RE PREGNANT.’ ‘You cannot be serious. It’s one cup. It’s fine.’ Grandma is banshee screaming at this point.’
“‘NO YOU CAN’T HAVE IT YOU’RE PREGNANT IT WILL MAKE YOU HAVE THE BABY NOW YOU CAN’T DO IT I WON’T LET MY DAUGHTER DO IT EITHER BUT SHE DRINKS IT ANYWAY AND IF I CAN’T SAVE HER I’LL SAVE YOU INSTEAD.’ I don’t think she breathed during this at all. Also, what? Save me?”
My Daughter’s Stage 4 Neuroblastoma Was Blamed On My Wife And I Being Gay
“We were disgusted and hurt. But that message brought our daughter so much more support and awareness.”