“Let me start by saying I’m 36 weeks – and it’s very obvious I’m pregnant. I’m huge. Massive. Uncomfortable. Tired and grumpy.
I am currently at my local chain coffee shop, sitting now, with my effing cup of coffee that had to be remade, because some random grandmother decided that, as I’m pregnant, I shouldn’t be allowed to have caffeine. Full story:
I’ve ordered the coffee (just a Grande cold brew, nothing crazy), and am standing at the end of the counter waiting. The barista calls my name and drink order. I go to take it.
Grandma (GM) – You can’t have that.
I didn’t know she was talking to me, so I continue to reach for my cup.
GM – YOU CAN’T HAVE THAT, YOU’RE PREGNANT.
Me – It’s one cup, it’s fine.
GM – NO YOU CAN’T HAVE IT, YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED (takes cup from my hand and drops it, full, into the trash next to the counter)
Me – You cannot be serious. It’s fine. My doctor even says it’s fine. (I looked at the barista, who is just standing there, mouth agape. She lets me know she’ll make me another).
Me, to GM – Please leave me alone. I’m tired and want my coffee. I get one cup a day, this is it. Please go away.
GM, banshee screaming at this point – NO YOU CAN’T HAVE IT YOU’RE PREGNANT IT WILL MAKE YOU HAVE THE BABY NOW YOU CAN’T DO IT I WON’T LET MY DAUGHTER DO IT EITHER BUT SHE DRINKS IT ANYWAY AND IF I CAN’T SAVE HER I’LL SAVE YOU INSTEAD (I don’t think she breathed during this at all. Also, what? Save me?)
Me, looking around for help because I’m not good at confrontation and she’s making me panic – Please stop. Looking at barista, pleading for help with my every thought. I’ll just take that directly when you’re done.
Barista hands me my cup directly, and this insane woman GOES TO TAKE IT FROM ME AGAIN.
So, I yelled. For her to stop trying to come near me. I literally, loudly (and even now have a bit of a shake from doing it), shouted, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE. YOU’RE MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE AND I DON’T WANT YOU THIS CLOSE.
She stopped, did this fish mouth-gaping thing, went ‘UGH FINE’ and left. The barista gave me a drink coupon and apologized for the stress, but goodness! How can someone think that’s OK?”
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