“The single lone hair tie. You baby it. You put it back on your arm after you get out of the shower. You make sure it’s with you when you head to yoga class. That hair tie is your entire freaking life. Then I threw my – should have washed it yesterday – hair into a quick ponytail and a light went off.”
“After watching her scream and flail on the ground, I had enough. ‘Go to your room! You need to calm down,’ I told her. But instead, she continued to talk back. And that’s when it happened. I yelled at my child. My daughter went upstairs and slammed the door. I heard her yell and cry in frustration. I sunk down onto a chair and cried.”
“As soon as the wand hit my belly, we all knew. ‘I’m so sorry.’ In one breath, she let us know I needed to make my way up to Labor and Delivery. I’d already lost 2.5 liters of blood and it was not slowing down. I turned to my mom and said, ‘I am just so tired, all I want to do is sleep.’ I heard one of the doctors say, ‘We WILL NOT take her uterus’ and then I was out. The next thing I knew, I was waking up. The nurse handed him to me. Perfectly formed with 10 fingers and toes, no heartbeat.”
“As we walked toward the doctor’s office, the fear made my body cold. I would feel my anxiety bubbling up, making it harder to breathe. I wanted to pull away from my mom. Stop getting closer. I became aware infants and children are still treated without any pain control. ‘They just swaddle them and do the treatment really fast,’ I was told. Babies? How could anyone do this? ‘It doesn’t really hurt.’ Reading this made me want to vomit. The memories of the pain and being held down is so visceral for me.”
“The only time I was high enough was if I was close to an overdose. He shoved the gun into my temple and screamed at my using buddy to give him the money. To be honest, at that moment, I wish he would have pulled the trigger. My arm was swollen four times its normal size the next morning. One person held me while the other drained my arm. I was just going to do a little bit and then go pick my daughters up from daycare.”
“Today at a play space with my daughters, I ran into a mom friend who I hadn’t seen in about a year. She was obviously pregnant. ‘Congrats! How are you feeling?’ She looked down at her belly. ‘Just big.’ She went on to explain her doctor complained she ‘needed to work out more.’ She was not only PREGNANT, but raising 3 kids. Guys, this got me heated. Like, breathing fire out of my nose and mouth heated.”
“Truth is, she’s labored NAKED in front of an audience of nurses and doctors. She’s had eyes and hands all over her lady bits. She literally just expelled another human being from her body through her vagina or from being cut open. She carried this little being for 9 long months and probably isn’t eager to have others just come in and sweep him/her away as soon as they take their first breath. If you are a friend or family member of a new mom, don’t just EXPECT to pop in at YOUR convenience.”
“It seems like I’m just a cool dad having fun while his wife is at work. But that’s not the case. We looked like a happy couple. You’d never know I was sleeping in my children’s playroom on a futon. I remember my mentor being honest with me, ‘You are an African American male in Texas, serving in the military. It’s highly unlikely you’ll get primary custody of your kids.’ I joined the 15 percent of single dads around the world that have primary custody of their kids. Now, I’m a full-time father of the 3 most resilient kids I know.”
“Your child is still contagious until they are fever-free, WITHOUT medication, for 24 hours.”
“A feeling washed over me. The exact same wave that washed over when they placed my biological children on my chest in the delivery room. ‘There you are, my child.’ Stroking my cheek, I felt her 28 pounds snuggle into mine. ‘Mommy, I’m so glad you found me in Armenia. I missed you even when I didn’t know you.’ She fed my soul, and she doesn’t even know it.”
