“Today at a play space with my daughters, I ran into a mom friend who I hadn’t seen in about a year. She was obviously pregnant. Now, I’m a little awkward about mentioning the whole bump thing because HEAVEN FORBID SHE ISN’T PREGNANT. I would have to off myself from shame BECAUSE I’D FEEL THAT BAD.
I decided my kids needed me still, so our first five-minutes of catch up I didn’t say anything. But then it felt weird to ignore it too, especially when it was staring at me right in the face like, ‘Hi, I’m a baby bump, what’s up?’
Me: ‘So I don’t usually say anything until something is mentioned to me, but you’re so obviously pregnant, and I didn’t want to not say anything too—so congratulations! How are you feeling?’ Anyway, this is how our conversation whent:
Pregnant friend: ‘Just big.’ She looked down at her belly. ‘I’m the same weight as I was when my first child was born, except I have eight weeks left.’
Me: ‘Every pregnancy is different, and maybe the baby is just bigger. As long as he’s healthy, that’s all that matters. Plus, you look amazing.’
Pregnant friend: ‘My doctor complained that I need to work out more. I told him I chase after three kids all day long, and he said that wasn’t enough.’
Me (enraged): ‘Omg, tell him to chase after three kids without being pregnant and let him see how much energy he has to exercise at the end of the day. Oh, or the time—plus YOU ARE PREGNANT.’
Guys, this got me heated. Like, breathing fire out of my nose and mouth heated.
Yep. I went full dragon.
I wanted to write a letter to every OB/GYN office in the world telling them what to say or not to say to pregnant, hormonal women. Expectant moms have enough on their plates; we don’t need them to feel insecure about their baby bumps.
Because when we congratulate a woman on her pregnancy, she shouldn’t be mentioning her size.
And most people do. I know I was guilty of just that. It’s almost as if we’re apologizing for how big we’ve become even though we’re supposed to be big!
And anyone making insensitive comments like this doesn’t help.
Pregnancy is hard. Being a mother is hard. Pregnancy, while you’re a mother, is SO HARD.
Let’s not put continued body pressure on pregnant women. All women carry differently. Pregnant bellies come in all shapes and sizes.
Okay? Good talk.”
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This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Danielle Sherman-Lazar of New Jersey. You can follow her journey on her blog and Facebook. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.
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