“A few weeks later, we received the results. ‘Julius has a diagnosis of autism.’ I went from raising one special needs child to two. I learned quickly I would not be able to have typical ‘mom’ conversations with other new moms. I realized most things parents took for granted were not part of my journey.”
“Like so many of us, Owen was devastated when he heard of the Australian bushfires. He’s a huge animal lover and has been making clay characters for a while, so together we thought up the clay koala. We wish we could send one to everyone in the world.”
“Something magical happened. I loaded her on my back. I couldn’t see her face, but I could just feel she was happy. I would show her the world, and I wouldn’t let her diagnosis stop her from seeing the amazing beauty it has to offer.”
“I waited for the crosswalk lights to start flashing, checked again for cars, and stepped into the road. We had almost made it halfway when I saw the car. The sound of the car hitting the stroller still haunts my dreams. I pulled his tiny limp body out of the stroller and just screamed his name over and over.”
“I use what little energy I have for my job and my children. By the end of the day, I can’t sleep. I can’t be productive. I want nothing more than to lie in the dark. I give myself a pep talk to finally brush the knots out of my hair. Some days, I look in the mirror and cry. Then comes the mania. Like today, I’ll clean like crazy. Take a nice, long shower. I’ll play extra long with the kids and message all the people my depression kept me from. All while wondering when depression will strike again.”
“I spent my second pregnancy in unrelenting fear. I held my breath during every ultrasound. The first question I’d ask the technician was, ‘Is she breathing?’ I mourned a little bit when I found out we were having another girl, as if I were cheating on our first baby by bringing a different girl into the world. But the one thing I’d always find, even on my very worst days, was hope.”
“I locked my daughter in her room. ‘He’s gonna get me. Mama, save me.’ He bit my arms, hands, and chest, drawing blood with each bite. I begged him to stop. It was too late. He was not him. I fell beside the couch. I felt like a battered wife, except it was my child. My child who, after a rage, would cry and kiss me, looking at me with big, sad eyes, begging me to ‘fix it.’ I wasn’t mad at him. I was completely broken.”
“Our thoughts of having a second child were buried under years of trauma. Until one day. ‘Kylee, I want a baby.’ That sparked something inside me I never thought would happen again. 4 days after my transfer, I took a pregnancy test expecting nothing. There was a very faint second line. ‘This has to be a fluke.’ My heart began racing. A different kind of panic ensued.”
“Gabby kept complaining about her left knee. Her brother had just gone through a similar growth spurt and had constant knee pain as well. I thought nothing of it. I took the kids to Target after school one day when I noticed she was limping. ‘Does it really hurt THAT BAD?’ Nothing looked wrong with it. Soon after, I got the call. ‘They will call and tell you where Gabby needs to go.’ WHAT? I paused, no idea what she was talking about.”
“I said, ‘Break a leg!’ She got furious and started yelling at me, ‘Why do you want me to break a leg?? She takes things exactly the way they are, what you say is what she hears, and she processes the language just as it’s spoken. Katy has her own unique way of thinking, which I adore.”
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