“Celia has severe autism and her meltdowns have become much more aggressive. I was pregnant with baby #5 at the time. And homeschooling. In a construction zone. Every day. I packed my 10-year old daughter Cora up and sent her off unaccompanied on a flight to Atlanta, to spend December with her sister and her dad. It’s hard for me to navigate with all of them on my own.”
“I used to stand on the sidelines of my kids’ games and listen closely to the rich moms. My stomach dropped, my defenses rose every time: Must be nice to live that way. Do they have any idea what it’s like to have $40 left 10 days before payday? I was righteous. It made me feel better to put them down. A simple request from my teen daughter one morning put me on a journey of changing my reverse-pride.”
“I was leaving the grocery store. An older woman was staring at me. I felt the familiar rush of blood heat my cheeks and anger rise in my throat. Instead of asking questions about a body that wasn’t hers, she smiled widely. ‘I think I saw you in a magazine!’ I exhaled and laughed, confirming that she had. My scarring looks like burns. This is ‘the worst disease you’ve never heard of.'”
“I almost died on the operating table while my husband was talking to other women. ‘He said you’re giving him a hard time about not coming to visit you. You need to be more independent and let him do his duties.’ I was physically and emotionally broken. I didn’t care if I survived.”
“I found out Jonathan was colorblind when he was 9 years old. I never quite understood the extent it affected him. Today, in his science class, he received color-correcting glasses from his teacher for the first time ever. ‘Mom, look at that flashing OPEN sign! I had no idea! Do you see how bright red and blue the letters are?! I could look at this all day!’ I was blown away.”
“The phone rang. All I heard was, ‘He’s yours.’ Even as I type this, I get goosebumps all over again just hearing those two simple words. I don’t remember what else was said after that. Less than 18 hours later, we were on a flight to Florida to meet our sweet son.”
“I looked around, boxes still unpacked, dishes to be done, dinner not yet cooked, and snow-day mess abounding, but this time instead of my mental checklist on repeat, I heard something different. That small voice that gently whispered, ‘How much longer will they want to do this with you?’”
“I chose to birth Gigi. On induction day, my son ran in with the biggest smile on his face, jumping in our bed for cuddles. I held him tight, tears running down my face. ‘Ty, I am about to birth her.’ He looked right into my eyes. ‘Juss, I am so proud of you.’ We returned home just in time to tuck my son into bed. I shared a special story with him that night. ‘Your baby sister is safe in the stars. We are lucky to have our very own angel watching over us, forever.’”
“The job I was so happy to go to every morning suddenly caused me such bad anxiety I could not even get out of bed in the morning. I started seeing a therapist. Life at work was a living hell. I cried as I pack up my desk. My supervisor didn’t even say two words to me. NEWS FLASH: People don’t leave jobs, they leave toxic work environments.”
“‘She will be good for him,’ she motioned towards my newborn. What? I live in a new city, knowing hardly anyone other than my husband, and now I suddenly have an autistic son and newborn daughter? I looked at my sweet Finley, his precious little face, and cried because of how I thought the world would see him.”
