“Growing up, my son loved me more than life, but feared me worse than death. I screamed in his face, threatened him for disturbing me, and dared him to cry when he was hurting. Sometimes, I denied him hugs and loving arms. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Our sons suffer an invisible death when their mother is the first one to call him ‘bad.'”
“I imagined sipping Arnold Palmers on the deck, casually thumbed through the newspaper we would obviously be mature enough to have delivered by then. What I did NOT imagine was me at 5:14 a.m., shushing children from my bedroom, shouting, ‘IN THIS FAMILY, CHILDREN DO NOT GET UP BEFORE 6!’ and shoving a small corner of my pillowcase in my ear. I think we can all agree that raising children isn’t exactly how we pictured it.”
“On a holiday weekend, we received a call. ‘A baby boy is in the hospital and needs a home.’ I was scared to say yes. Just 3 hours later, a car pulled in our driveway with a 6-pound, 3-day old, baby boy. Time stood still. She handed him to me with two Walmart bags of random items, some paperwork and wished us well. We had no idea what the future would hold. Everything about this decision looked crazy to most people – even us.”
“After being diagnosed with pneumonia, she was about to be discharged from the hospital when one of the nurses noticed her oxygen levels dropping rapidly. They immediately put her on a ventilator and discovered her lungs were filled with blood. Her face turned blue. She grasped the bed handles, waiting for it to stop.”
“The holidays just started. Soon, relatives you don’t know will be asking what grade you’re in, how your love life is going, and what you’re planning to do with your future that’s exciting and financially viable. I know social events can be uncomfortable and draining for you. But being an introvert is not a flaw that needs fixing. It’s part of your uniqueness. I’ve got your back this holiday season.”
“We’ll call bedtime ‘rest,’ because it sure as hell isn’t a good night’s sleep. So, when one of my kids can’t fall asleep, it freakin’ frustrates the heck out of me. Then I feel guilty because my poor child is frustrated she can’t sleep, and here I am, making it worse by getting upset with her. I wasn’t thankful last night. Nope. But then she puts her head on my chest.”
“Walking in the courtroom, there were 12 other families waiting with the same excitement. Some with matching shirts, letterboards, signs, all to commemorate their special day. The judge, dressed as Woody from Toy Story, walks in to officially kick off the festivities. ‘You understand this is a permanent proceeding. He would be yours as if he were born to you?,’ he asked. I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer.”
“Whenever I feel anxious, I feel the urge to micromanage my family. Whenever I feel a sense of uncertainty, I feel the need to force things. I’m letting go. I’m not holding on. I’m enjoying this ride no matter what direction it takes me or how long it lasts.”
“Today, my son crawled onto my lap and started whining. I told him to use his words. At that exact moment, I realized I haven’t been using mine. This week, I forgot to ask him if he was okay. Instead, I yelled, was less patient. I said ‘I can’t play, mommy’s busy!’ a lot. So, I made him feel special. His smile was instant.”
“I found an unexpected emotion creeping in, sadness. Sadness that I was not going to be having a baby with a partner. It’s a weird feeling to be celebrating a dream come true while also mourning the loss of another.”
