“I will never forget the day she called me and told me. She was sorry and she didn’t understand why it was happening to her.”
‘She wanted to crash a wedding, toilet paper a house and travel. I remember looking at her sitting there, thinking, ‘She will not be here much longer.’
‘My principal emailed me. She added another student to my roster. ‘Come talk to me when you get a chance. I have to tell you her story.’: Teacher remembers every student ‘has a story’ and they just might ‘change you’
“She saw the terror in my eyes. The office lady leaned in to whisper, ‘The guidance counselor will be in shortly.’ He just stood there. Looking up at me with his big, empty, chocolate eyes. In that moment, I could peek into his soul. I knew I was in that classroom, at that moment, for him.”
‘Girl, I bet you’ll get pregnant right after you adopt. Just watch!’ It’s nails on a chalkboard when I hear that.’
“We didn’t adopt in order to become pregnant. I never want my sweet girl to think she was SECOND best. You are the absolute BEST thing that ever happened to me.”
‘My mama’s baby is going to come out of her crotch and it’s going to hurt! Then it’s going to eat milk from her boobies!’ My younger mom-self would have died. But, she’s not WRONG.’
“We were out shopping when an older woman approached me about my 5 kiddos. I’ve never minded the curiosity. After asking all of their ages, I said, ‘And another one on the way!’ Then, one of my 3-year-old twins had some extra information to share.”
‘I was woken by a call. ‘There is something wrong with Twin B.’ Seeing the name on my caller ID made my heart leap out of my throat. How could this happen to my little, happy fighter?’
“I was trying to wrap my head around it. How does a twin, leave the other twin behind? How do we live on without her? We received another call in the middle of the night. ‘She isn’t moving the right side of her body.’ Nothing was going to stop her.”
‘Doctors couldn’t figure out why I was so unlucky, they would tell my mom she was worried for nothing, kids my age are always sick. My mom knew something wasn’t right.’
“My mom noticed a hump on one side of my back but didn’t think anything of it. 3 weeks later the hump grew bigger.”
‘My wife sat me down. ‘We are going to adopt.’ l couldn’t bear letting her down. I wanted to yell out, ‘That’s not fair to the child.’ I had my first panic attack.’
“Despite my ‘advanced maternal age,’ everything looked great. We naively thought getting pregnant would be easy for us. I felt stuck in the middle of two worlds.”
‘You have cancer? Lemon water will cure you. You have cancer? Just think positive, only negative people die from cancer.’
“A loved one recently said, out of the blue, ’Christa, for insomnia, limit your screen time before bed, get exercise, and eat well.’ I looked at him, with one cocked eyebrow and said, ‘Yes, I’ve been doing those things.’ Thanks Captain Obvious.”
‘I remember screaming into the phone, ‘I need help!’ Please get me help! I don’t know what’s wrong with her.’ Minutes go by and he hasn’t called. I’m starting to really panic.’
“I remember everything getting quiet and realizing my daughter wasn’t crying or screaming any longer. The only sound was me crying. At this point, she is in my arms, up on my shoulder, but her face is nuzzled in my chest and I can’t see her.”
‘I finally turned to my mother, unsure of wanting to know the truth, and hesitantly asked, ‘Mom, am I going to die?’
“Before me, on a poorly lit screen, was a prognosis I never expected to read. Every website shattered my heart as I scanned the same words over and over, desperately hoping to read a different outcome.”