“I am currently pregnant with our sixth child. Four of our kids have taken the experience as it comes. But one of our 3-year-old twin girls, Halen, has wanted to know every single aspect of what being pregnant and having a baby means. I’ve approached this part of parenting with what I refer to as ‘censored truth.’ After all, my kids are all very young and the extreme details of pregnancy and birth are definitely not up for discussion. But I do want them to know, sort of, what happens.
When she asked me how the baby comes out, I explained to her that mommy will have to ‘push her out of my crotch.’ She took that as me having to use my hands to push down on my belly to force the baby out. So, yeah…that’s what we have rolled with for the last few months. Every once in a while she will bring it back up and ask how the baby will fit through. I keep it light and simple by saying things like, ‘it’s going to hurt’ and, ‘I’ll have to push REALLY hard, but eventually the baby will come out!’
When her questions about how the baby will eat came up, I explained that milk comes out of mommy’s boobs and the baby will eat directly from them. Halen now sometimes will be sitting next to me on the couch, pull down my shirt, point to my boobs and declare, ‘this is where the baby eats!’
Her interest in the whole thing has been really sweet and innocent. She’s the only one of my children who has had a real desire to learn and talk about the entire process, so I’ve really tried to embrace her curiosity.
Last week I was out shopping with my little crew when an elderly woman approached us. I’m used to the curiosity my little circus brings and it’s always fun to show them off to inquiring minds.
After asking all of their ages and then me mentioning, ‘then another one on the way!,’ while pointing to my growing belly, one of my 3-year-old twins, Halen, had some extra information to share.
‘My mama’s baby is going to come out of her crotch and it’s going to hurt! Then it’s going to eat milk from her boobies!’
Now…my younger mom-self with just one or two kids would have died inside over the fact my lady parts were being broadcast for the world. I would have been terrified of the judgement I’d receive from this stranger. But, I pushed out twins in an operating room surrounded by more than 15 people. My sense of dignity when it comes to my lady parts and birth is basically nonexistent. And thank goodness, because this woman busted out laughing SO hard over her comment!
I started laughing too because honestly, how do you not? She’s not wrong, after all!
The woman and I stood there with one arm around each other as we dried the comical tears from our eyes. Once the woman got her voice composed enough, she told Halen, ‘You are absolutely right!,’ and then asked her, ‘Are you going to help your mommy feel better after the baby is born?’ Halen shrugged her shoulders. ‘That’s what my daddy is for!’
The woman busted out laughing again and praised her humor. I filed this moment away in my memory of things I hope I never forget. Honestly, she could not have been any more perfect in the moment. I loved her honesty and lack of filter. I’m so glad she said exactly what she was thinking.
The woman passed by us one more time before leaving the store. ‘You guys have made my whole day! You guys have just made my whole entire day!,’ she kept repeating.
Sometimes kids have the best way of bringing strangers together.”
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