“They didn’t have any information other than his name. I was convinced it was a black child. Imagine my surprise to see a white child sitting at the table! I was internally panicking. At the time, he was the first white child I had ever interacted with. In the end, I agreed to take him in.”
“I was the most apprehensive, uneasy person he ever met. Me. The person who went on to marry him, and have kids and a life with him. Very simply put, I got over it. The chair, the speech impediment, all of it. I’m happy I got brave enough to get to know this whole and magnificent human.”
“‘Please put an end to his pain. He had over 300 seizures. My husband shouted, ‘There has been an accident!’ A phone call confirmed a mother’s worst nightmare.”
“All I say is ‘No.’ I’m tired of my kids’ disappointment. I’ll take ANY version of normal I can get my hands on. I bought school uniforms in June. I love summer, but I’m ready to exit the ride.”
“He asked, ‘Are you?’ Softly I said, ‘I am.’ I was shaking, crying, and hyperventilating. The baby I wasn’t sure I even WANTED, might not survive. All while thinking, ‘Life would be so much easier without being pregnant.’ I don’t swear much, but I definitely swore in that moment.”
“I’m certain I will end up in an ambulance, perhaps in another 7-11 parking lot as my husband dials 911. The panic will take over and I will feel death is imminent. I’ll be left wondering, once again, if I’m dying. This is my prison.”
“You’re happy about being pregnant, but also scared it could end. We know how swiftly things can go from life to death.”
“The doctor laid him on my chest and instant panic came over my face. He was a shade of blue. I had done this five times before. I knew what a newborn should look like. He began to throw up and for a newborn, it was a lot! Why was this happening?”
“She was a wreck, but the nurse came in with the news it was time for us to pack up and go. I urged the doctor to keep us there. ‘Insurance won’t pay.’ I can still feel the wind from doctors running past me, responding to the ‘code black.’ It haunts me.”
“I needed to taste my mama’s pancakes. I just needed to feel my ‘home,’ and not through the blue light of a screen. I didn’t realize what a release it would be to just pull up in a familiar driveway, knock on a door, and have it open wide.”
