“If I wanted to impress a crowd, I could. I’ve got my ducky little life put together. At home, my children are laughing, my husband is eating a hot dinner, and the floor is tidy and clean. Right beneath the surface, hidden right before your eyes, is someone desperately trying to stay afloat.”
“She was fried. She hadn’t slept much. I felt invisible. She looked at me and said, ‘This isn’t you, or the parent you want to be, so you need to tell me what you need or snap out of it.’ We sat in that uncomfortable place for a good 45 minutes.”
“‘How will I cope?’ I looked in the mirror for 30 minutes, wondering what to do.”
“OMG YOU GUYS. I notice that EVERY. SINGLE. CAR. THERE is either some sort of hot rod muscle car. I spent the next ten minutes until the ‘parade’ started avoiding eye contact with anyone, plotting my escape.”
“‘I’m sorry,’ I said when I finally sat down on the couch across from my mom. Already, I could feel my nose start to sting. ‘What happened? We used to talk every day.’ My mom shrugged, and I caught her looking down to the ground. ‘Growing up happens.'”
“Mama, can’t you see your transformation? I wish those corridors could applaud you. Then you would see the strength you possess. I wish those halls could rock you. To ensure you felt safe and supported. I wish those walls could whisper. So you would know that however your birth played out, you were amazing.”
“‘This isn’t the way I’m supposed to live my life.’ I wanted so badly to be a mom. ‘Who will ever marry someone like me?’ I remember thinking, ‘Who would let me raise their baby? I am an awful human being.’”
“Marriage isn’t always two people who are on the same team. We are not always on the same page, and we do not always like each other. But we made a vow to make this work, and that is what we are doing.”
“I always imagined this big strong guy like my husband – a star football player and maybe a military pilot. But after Gabe’s diagnosis, suddenly those dreams came crashing down. I worried if Gabe would ever drive, get married, or just end up living with us forever.”
“I see your kids in the background during your one-one-one chats with my sons. Yours are working with headphones or playing in the backyard while you give my kids the attention they need. My little stinkers love you more than you’ll ever discern from their random, wandering stories on Zoom.”
