“If his restaurant order is better, he’ll switch plates. He knows all my favorite ‘lady products’ and will run to the pharmacy for me. He unloads the groceries while I sit with the seat warmers on. Every time. I wasted years looking for the love shown in movies, disappointed time and time again, instead of paying attention to how HE loves.”
“The EMT arrived. I couldn’t feel my baby girl moving anymore. ‘Please help her!’ I begged. They tried to detect the heartbeat, but couldn’t. Last thing I remember, I was being wheeled into the ER, all eyes on me. When I first saw her, she was motionless. ‘The decision is up to you. When you say enough is enough, she’ll be put to rest.’ They removed the tubes, but she continued to breathe. She kept fighting to stay alive.”
“We were at a party. A little boy came up to me. ‘Why isn’t Riley talking to me? I’m asking him questions and he won’t answer me.’ Our son has Down syndrome. After learning Riley will be going to mainstream school, one parent asked, ‘How will he be able to get along with other children?’ It was like BANG. He is his own character, the same as every child.”
“The flyer tells girls, ‘Wear a little lip gloss. And don’t forget the approved dress standards. You don’t want the guy dancing with you to feel uncomfortable because of the questionable outfit you justified.’ No. NOPE. NOOO! My church taught me I needed men to tell me how to behave sexually. I lived my whole life with shame, guilt. This is not happening with my daughter.”
“I was scared. My job as a school bus driver doesn’t offer maternity leave, I had no savings (hello, single mom!) and I couldn’t afford to just not work. I was due 3 weeks before school started. Her father wasn’t in the operating room for her birth. ‘You robbed me of a great moment, never contact me again.’ He moved across the country without even seeing her. It was official. There would be no co-parenting, I was once again a single mom. I had to make this work.”
“I awoke at 10 p.m. to light and sobbing coming from my daughter’s room. I went in to find her sitting up in bed, tears streaming. When someone breaks their heart, we can’t talk them into loving our baby again. When they don’t have friends, we can’t set up play dates. When they don’t get the job, we can’t plead with the employer. There was nothing I could do.”
“I noticed her stomach seemed very bloated, especially on one side. I asked family members to take a look – no one was concerned. The oncologist asked lots of questions, but one stopped us in our tracks. ‘Has anyone in your families had cancer?’ I looked at my husband, and he looked at me. In that moment, we both knew what she was about to say. ‘I’m so sorry.’ She had tears in her eyes.”
“Your eyeballs are hanging out of your head at 3:00 a.m. while you’re looking at your partner’s worthless nipples. You’re on the couch, barely speaking to each other, thinking every noise is the baby waking. Scrolling through phones to fall asleep, you forget to say goodnight. Conversations were once everything. Now, they’re kept to the point because there’s just no time.”
“I was squeaking down the linoleum hallway with my friend when she informed me with a smack of her bubble gum and a toss of her blonde hair that my sister was in fact, not real. As far as I knew, my sister was real. We had real fights. We exchanged real eye-rolls behind our parents’ backs. We slipped real ‘I’m sorry’ notes under each other’s doors after calling each other names. We were real sisters.”
“I knew my same sex attractions were not going away. I knew I was hurting myself. I knew I was hurting Aleesha and the kids. But it continued to be a secret. I never got caught. Until I came clean. I bawled. ‘So what now? Do you want me to leave?’ We were both sitting there crying, holding each other for dear life. I was surprised to hear, ‘No, never. You are my best friend. I need you to stay. We will figure it out.’ I expected to be kicked out. Yelled at. But none of that happened. I was shown love.”
