“’We did find a few things wrong.’ They rushed him into emergency surgery. ‘There’s something wrong with the baby’s heart.’ Once again, we were faced with the possibility of not bringing him home. Once again, he beat all the odds and baffled all the doctors.”
“Tears dripped from between his little fingers. He climbed into my lap like a small child. ‘If I could take the hurt away, I would,’ I said. My 11-year-old replied, ‘I know, but you can’t take the gay away.’ This is why moms like us lose our children.”
“Noah’s eyes widen. He’d almost forgotten about presents. ‘Which one should I open first?’ It’s a small rectangular box. Noah pulls off the paper. ‘Whoa,’ he says, staring at the white box on the carpet. iPhone 7. He can’t believe it. His parents both have smartphones, so do a lot of kids at school. He’s so excited, he barely notices his grandparents get up to leave. ‘Oh,’ he says absentmindedly, ‘Bye.’”
“I don’t talk about my first wedding often. Never actually. After my divorce, there were months I struggled to get out of bed. There was pain and suffering. Rage. So much rage. This was my second wedding dress, but this heart? It’s renewed. This is my redeptiom.”
“In 6 weeks that I’ve been home, I haven’t slept more than 4 hours at a time. My days revolve around changing diapers, nursing and pumping, and trying to figure out why my baby is crying. And while my motherly instincts are loud and clear, we are nowhere near a daily routine yet. I couldn’t imagine going back to work right now.”
“I wondered where my mom wound up. I was hurt, I felt anger but I don’t know if I was ever actually angry at God directly. I was angry at my situation. I wondered why I had lost my mom and my dad by 14.”
“One of the nurses came in the room and said to me, ‘If you guys were my kids, I would tell you to go straight to the children’s hospital. Something is wrong with your baby.”
“The doctor spoke the words ‘unsurvivable injury’ over and over and over again. I was in denial and almost laughed at the report. ‘Do you want to donate the organs? You’re ruining the chances by keeping him alive.’ How could this doctor be so concerned with saving one life, but so inclined to let another go? After 10 minutes, a police officer walked over with a Ziploc baggie of Christiano’s belongings.”
“The day of the c-section I told my husband, ‘He will be with us, just keep an eye open for signs.’ After tear-filled moments in pre-op, we stopped in the hall. I laid there praying, staring up at the ceiling tiles. Just above me was a small sticker on an air conditioning vent. That’s when I saw it. In that moment, I smiled, so relieved. I knew he was here, watching over us.”
