“For 20 years, I drank. I missed birthdays, sports, parent-teacher conferences. My kids never knew if they were getting the calm, sober mom or the angry-drunk mom. Guilt ate me alive and my sobriety turned me into a new person: the yes mom. Volunteer as a coach for my daughter’s softball team? Sure thing! Soccer team needs a manager? Oh, me, me. I’ll do it! I was in over my head. I thought this PTO gig would make it up to my kids, but I was DONE.”
“I put my stepdaughter’s plate on the table. She looked at me. ‘Is being a stepmom really hard?’ All I could think was, ‘we don’t have enough time in the day.’ I braced myself for more. She sat for a minute, eating her eggs and fruit. I thought I was in the clear. Wrong. Here came the hardest question. ‘Why did my mom and dad break up?’ she asked. ‘Uhhhh… Uhhhh… Uhhhh…’ I couldn’t give her all the dirty details.”
“Every time her child went back to playing with my kids, like clockwork the mom came back and told her to stop. This poor child was waiting for her mother to not be paying attention so she could go back to laughing and playing. Enough was enough. ‘Hi, how are you? I just want you to know those little black girls you’re so afraid of, those are MY children.’ She turned beet red.”
“’What a freak. Stay away from that little weird girl.’ People can be cruel. But my husband said, ‘Look at her. You have a beautiful daughter.’ She gives her siblings a run for her money. She is different, not less.”
“I entered a self-portrait competition at school at age 8. I was so excited, I dug out my best coloring pens. ‘I don’t know why you’re bothering, it looks nothing like you. You’re never going to win,’ my mother said. These words hit hard, but I entered it anyway. Deep down, I wanted to prove her wrong. When I won, she shrugged her shoulders. ‘They probably just felt sorry for you.’”
“My husband told me without hesitation, he’d get a vasectomy. I thought, ‘Yeah sounds good, but we’ll see if he’s really down for the cause when that time comes.’ We prepared for snip snip day by getting him a bag of frozen peas and tight underwear. He was nervous, but ready. My OB knew of our plan, but kept asking, ‘Are you SURE?’”
“‘We aren’t going to be daddies.’ I couldn’t see any hope on the horizon. Then, in the most amazing twist of events, she asked if we’d consider her sister as our surrogate. ‘YES!’ We were blown away. I was jumping. We all sat around the table, and voila! TWO LINES. I shouted, ‘You’re pregnant!’ We did a huge group hug.”
“She provided the most breathtaking comfort I’ve ever received. She showed up and simply said, ‘I know what it’s like to be the first one at the casket.’ I was speechless. Numb. Humbled and heartbroken. The first one at the casket. It was true. I hadn’t thought of it. It was a humble reminder of the honored spot I was standing in.”
“I had a few drinks. Judge me if you want, but I’m allowed. I’ve been 21 for 26 years now, so I’m legal. Wasn’t driving. Not bothering anybody. But, we got lost on the way back. It may have had something to do with my favorite two-word phrase: Mer-lot. Then my daughter called. ‘Hello?’ I over enunciated my words, trying to stand in place, giggling.”
“Furniture blocked off the hallway to give us privacy as we said goodbye. I watched my husband hold his son for the first and last time; I’d never seen him so broken. We held his hands and kissed his head, telling him we loved him, he didn’t need to fight any longer. When the doctor pronounced him, I asked her to carry him to the hospital morgue. I couldn’t do it myself. She swaddled him in a blanket, and left.”
