“Escaping anxiety, suppressing depression, avoiding life for just a few hours. But what Jessica wants to do in the end is always what Jessica is going to do.”
‘It’s just something everyone does and I was better at it than most. It was a bandage covering a gaping wound I refused to address. Deep down, I knew.’
‘But that won’t be the case for you,’ he said. I was 18 weeks pregnant when I was told to ‘just terminate’ the life of my unborn baby.
“I was told to terminate his life because there was very little chance he would survive pregnancy. And if by some miracle he did, he would most certainly endure a life of suffering marked by severe disabilities.”
‘I completely forgot I was pregnant, or that I was even married. I was only 21. It was a nightmare.’: Woman suffers amnesia in car accident
“The day before we were to be induced we were hit head on by a fatigued driver. We were a mile down the road when we were hit head on. We were in my hometown for my little sister’s high school graduation, preparing our soon-to-be home before our sweet baby girl’s due date.”
‘She seemed off. Not eating, stomach aches, lying around. The pediatrician basically laughed at Tim, confused why they were there. How did all the doctors miss it?’
“It started with a fever, and then her limp would get bad and she would be up all-night crying and screaming in pain. Eventually she slept in our bed because I couldn’t keep going back and forth to her room. What about our other daughter, Lily?! We were going to have a new baby almost any time! I immediately left the room and sobbed.”
‘Dad needs you! There’s water everywhere!’ I run downstairs, my husband is on his knees under the sink, water gushing all over everything! ‘Where’s the valve to shut it off?’ ‘We need the ‘special key!’
“I run outside, half naked, looking around in the moonlight for this shut-off valve… I throw on some clothes and grab my phone to Google. ‘You had time to put on skinny jeans?!?’”
‘I’m busy right now,’ he said. I describe my 11-year-old as a slug of a boy. He was playing on the laptop, wearing sweatpants, on the sofa, feet on the coffee table.’: Father realizes he’s never been ‘prouder’ of his son
“‘No, you’re not,’ I said. There was a fight, moaning, excuses… the usual. He looked at me with flat eyes, his hood up, shoulders slumped, and said, ‘Why do we have to do this?’ The next day, my wife sent me this picture.”
‘I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve him. Anyone could do this better. I harbored fantasies about escape, vanishing, and death.’
“The light switch on how to be a mom would never flip. I felt like a fraud. Someone should do this instead of me. There IS NO light switch.”
‘My husband looked at me with tears in his eyes. ‘You have no idea what it’s like watching you slowly die and there’s nothing I can do about it.’ To the outside world, no one knew what was happening to us.’
“After all the years he fought for our country and for his wife, he deserved more than being stuck with a sick wife in a drug coma stuck on the couch. Never in a million years would I have anticipated what would come next.”
‘I see a news report about a child who was abandoned in a parking lot after a woman fled on foot. I immediately recognized the photo of ‘Baby Jenkins.’ It was Tyler.’
“My cousin had actually given Tyler away to this other woman, because she could not handle taking care of a newborn. I was shocked and obviously did not understand the gravity of the situation. I called 911.”
‘There’s a picture of you with a shawl around your head. Why are you wearing that?’ I was scared to tell her.’: Daughter converts to Islam, keeps decision from her mom because she ‘didn’t want to hurt her feelings’
“I had sent in my application and a few weeks later, my mom called me to tell me there was an envelope in the mail for me. Not knowing what it was, I told her to go ahead and open it. I was no longer living a secret life. I could be free with my mom now, or so I thought… When others started learning about my conversion, they’d put bad thoughts into my mom’s head.”