“He was lifeless and pale. The clock was ticking. All we could do was pray and hold his little hand. Sitting beside his hospital bed, 3 genetic doctors in white coats rushed in. ‘Can we go to a private room to talk?’ I walked down the hallway in a fog. ‘We were wrong. It’s severe. He will never live independently on his own.’ Soon after, he had a stroke and began seizing up. This was the worst-case scenario. It was really happening.”
“I’m not saying I don’t love my family. I’m not saying I wish I didn’t have children. I need to feel like me, just for a moment.”
“It hurt. I’m not going to lie. She is a beautiful lady, successful in her career, parents well, and her daughter is adorable. This is a mom I looked up to.”
“Our precious Amie was approaching her next open heart surgery. ’Wanna play hooky from school?’ She excitedly said, ‘Yes!’ I secretly handed the next note to one of the most amazing difference-makers ever. He wanted to introduce the ‘celebrity’ on board. The look on her face was beyond amazing. This would be the last adventure we would ever be able to take together.”
“How do I make people see the beauty I see?”
“In a panic now, I pray. I put my hands up to my bloody mouth and pray long and hard and more fervently than I have ever prayed before. I can’t go back. I won’t. ‘Please help me.’ I will not look behind me anymore. There is no going back. I must break free from the cage I have held my self in for so long.”
“The things I loved most about my sons turned out to be red flags. When others parents learned they were autistic, they said, ‘I’m so sorry’ as if they are sick. ‘Did the vaccines cause it?’ They tell me I should opt out of them, as if autism is a greater risk than a preventable illness that could kill. I will no longer feel sad for my boys.”
“Here’s to the girl dads who babysit dolls and pause wrestling matches to conduct tea parties. To the dads who help take off training wheels, tighten seatbelt straps, and fasten car seats. To the guys guy covered in tattoos who has spent so many years learning to hold on, and will spend the rest of your lives learning to let go. You are building hearts with your construction hands.”
“That morning, I picked up my mom for a routine dental cleaning. As usual, she was happy to see me. Nothing stood out as odd. She joked with the receptionist about me and walked out the door with a smile. As soon as the sunlight hit her face, she turned to me. ‘You never told me.’ ‘Told you what?’ I asked. ‘Who you were.’ All in a couple of seconds, I realized this was very real. She was terrified and begged, ‘Take me home.’ I soon realized ‘home’ was her childhood house. My mind was racing.”
“I woke up feeling uneasy. As I drove in, I just knew something was off. The ultrasound tech was silent and white as a ghost. ‘Is everything okay?’ She replied, ‘You need to wait for the doctor,’ and walked out of the room. At just 25 weeks, the twins were both dying and on their way. The OB-GYN whisked me to the ER. ‘Jeremiah is not big enough to survive. You have to leave him in!’ The entire day, I had been bleeding out internally and no one knew.”
