“You’ll study her face and worry. What if she gets lost in the hall? What if she doesn’t make a single friend? What if she doesn’t think about you at all? Does she know every sandwich, every pool day, every morning we snuggled in bed, I didn’t want to be anywhere else? It’ll feel like forever ’til you see her little face on that sidewalk, but I guarantee you, it’ll be smiling. She’s a different kid. She grew up today.”
“The doctor walked in and bluntly said, ‘Welp, you have a broken back.’ My promising college baseball career was over. My girlfriend broke up with me. The crutches in my life that helped me ignore how unhappy I was with my body were GONE. My moment of clarity didn’t come from a diet fad. It came in a ‘toilet moment’. I was simply disgusted with myself.”
“Out of nowhere, he grabbed my hands, looked me in the eyes and said every kind thing I’d hoped to hear. I asked where this sudden conviction came from. He replied, ‘Because I’ve been lying to you… there’s more.’ At that moment, time stood still. A family member of hers had texted us letting us know she had missed her period, and was concerned of pregnancy.”
“They went on about their day with no remorse for how deeply they had hurt my daughter.”
“To the girl in love with an addict, I saw you sit in your car alone at halftime and breakdown. I see you and your fake smile. Don’t worry, they all still believe you’re fine. You’ve gotten so good at crying hard, getting it all out fast, and getting back to your seat before anyone even realizes you’re gone. Please don’t let him make you think his addiction is your fault. This has nothing to do with you at all. You deserve better than this.”
“The doctor yelled to get the NICU team as soon as possible. They came in so fast we could hardly get a picture. I don’t remember anything afterwards except that my husband googled her syndrome based on her appearance, and I was left alone in the delivery room. No husband. No baby. I asked for a Diet Coke. They only had Diet Pepsi.”
“There are people out there longing to feel connected. To feel seen. All it takes is one smile. One hello. Buy a coffee for the person behind you. That waitress busting her butt at the diner? Tip her and tell her how much potential she has. Send that text. We live in times I never wished for my children. I’m not naive to it. But, I refuse to let evil and hate paralyze me.”
“Inexplicable things started happening. I looked pregnant. Everyone poked fun at me napping every day. I sat in the parking lot of my doctor’s office with yet another pamphlet for painful periods. Every ounce of me wanted to run back and tell him to figure it out! Instead, I put my car in reverse and drove away in tears. Silenced, once again. I was absolutely losing my mind.”
“My husband swiftly removed her multiple times, as I said, ‘Mommy will be done in a minute baby, I am right here.’ I need someone to look me in the eyes and say, ‘I know you’re not okay.’ My daughter did just this for me. I try to hold it together for my child, but she knows. We sat like this for an hour. It was one of the most beautiful gifts anyone could give me.”
“The second we took my firstborn home, I looked at my husband. ‘I can’t wait to do this again!’ I was exhausted, nervous, and overwhelmed with first-time motherhood, but I knew. I couldn’t handle or even afford 10 babies, but that need was alive and well in my heart. I’m now 40, with 5 kids and a full-time job. But feeling done? I don’t have that feeling. I don’t know why. And I don’t know if I ever will.”
