“I remember every single detail about this day. I knew what I was coming into, but in no way was I prepared for it. Your nurses before me had gotten you so handsome, dressed for your family. You looked so small in that big bed.”
‘I put you in your mom’s arms so you could be snuggled while you drifted off to sleep. I hid behind the curtain and shed silent tears. I still hear the echo of, ‘I’m so sorry, but he is gone.’: Nurse recalls ‘absolute honor’ of caring for CHD patient
‘Even when we fuss about how ‘chubby’ we look in. Even if we moan the angle isn’t good, I promise you this: We want to be seen. We want to be remembered. And it means the world to us, when you take our picture.’
“I know this isn’t something on the forefront of your mind, and that’s okay. We don’t need every special moment documented…but, let’s be honest. We spend a lot of time doing just that for everyone else. Please.”
‘Help me get daddy out!,’ she begged. ‘He won’t like being dirty.’ I took her to see his grave. She started digging up the dirt, crying her little heart out. We sobbed until we had no more tears to cry.’
“She was 3. That was the last time I took her to his grave. She told me her ‘heart hurt too’ much and she didn’t want to go back. She asks if our family can die and ‘be a star in the sky with daddy.’ I go straight into Mommy mode and reassure her we can’t be stars. It’s not our time.”
‘Evil never takes a day off. So, how can I?’ The man of my dreams died a mere 8 months after being diagnosed with this horrible disease. ‘How can this be?,’ the nurse in me kept asking.’
“I begrudgingly shared my email with her. She thought I’d be a good fit for her son, who she said looked like Matt Damon. He walked into my apartment wearing ‘white snake jeans,’ a brown trucker shirt, and black shiny shoes. Obviously, it was not his wardrobe that won me over.”
‘When I opened my eyes my husband was as pale as the floor, sitting on the other side of me, breathing heavily, sweating, and staring at the floor.’
“The doctor inserted her torture device. I remember cursing loudly and then profusely apologizing, as the pain was excruciating. I covered my face and wanted to scream. During this time I felt Nick’s hand fall away. He was on the brink of passing out.”
‘He is coming!’ I was alone. I was in denial. My husband was deployed. I couldn’t possibly be giving birth without my two partners present.’
“Is my baby boy okay? All I wanted was my husband. Waiting for him to arrive at the hospital felt like a lifetime. When he arrived I collapsed into his arms sobbing. He asked what was wrong, but I could barely get the words out.”
‘I’m sure it’s just stress.’ I heard these words from doctors who over 15 years couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me.’
“All of these doctors told me they didn’t know what was going on but I could take strong prescription meds to deal with the symptoms. I didn’t just want to deal with the symptoms. I wanted to know the cause!”
‘Everyone poops during labor,’ she warned. It was my first time. I couldn’t stop asking questions. ‘Is it normal my water hasn’t broken yet?’ ‘When do I push?’: New mom shares labor experience, thanks nurses for support
“My questions didn’t stop there. ‘Is the baby okay?’ He was covered in white slime. ‘Should he be that color?’ I felt so completely unprepared. These women never looked at me and said, ‘That isn’t my job.’ That is a hero.”
‘I was scrolling photos and came across this – 24 bottles of breast milk. This is what a FULL day of feedings looked like for our triplets. We fed every 3 hours, and it was exhausting.’
“I didn’t experience the ‘bond’ I often heard of when it came to breastfeeding. But perhaps the ‘bond’ is formed by simply FEEDING your baby? Each time I held one of my babies, I cradled them in my arms as they received their bottle. I knew this was OUR kind of bond.”
‘I didn’t think anybody would miss me if I was gone.’ Her daughter planned to commit suicide. She left goodbye letters. She was ready to leave the world.’
“As her mom sat across from me, we both had tears streaming down our faces. I asked if I could write my student a letter to be delivered to her at the hospital. ‘My daughter would love that,’ she said. I wrote cards to every one of my students, over 100 of them.”