“I remember her concentrating on a certain part of my shirt, of course, I was scared. I never made it seem as if she was alone in this journey.”
‘She looked me dead in the eye. ‘What is it? Did the man leave?’ I can tell she was scared, her face went pale. Then I called 911.’
‘There is a chance you will lose all your hair.’ WHAT? Bald spots started appearing. They didn’t know if it would ever come back.’
“There was nothing they could do for me, little did I know that was just the beginning.”
‘I was alone working the bar. It was quiet until 15 men strolled in. One was on crutches. Now I wish I hadn’t been so kind.’
“While I was at the school dropoff, he would drive past and text me to let me know how I looked that day. He would magically turn up where I was. He wouldn’t always approach me, but would stick around long enough to remind me he was there, watching.”
‘I was self-conscious after having a baby, so I got breast implants. I got the ‘healthier’ option. When I woke up from surgery, it felt like the air got knocked out of my lungs.’
“I’d express my concern at every follow up, but the doctor assured me everything was healing well. So, I ignored my intuition. The pain persisted. Years later, I looked through hashtags on Instagram, and everything finally made sense. I had discovered it. Instantly I knew.”
‘What’s wrong?’ My tattoo artist emerged from the back, visibly shaking, crying. ‘I just HAD to take in this moment.’: Mom loses twins, ‘uncommon’ first names combine to match name of tattoo artist’s late grandmother
“He’d gone back to trace the footprints of my babies, Leonor and Buchanan, both stillbirths. I was wondering what was taking so long, and started to worry my tattoo couldn’t be done. ‘I don’t want you to think I’m crazy,’ he said. ‘But my grandmother’s name was Leonor Buchanan. She just passed.’ I looked at him in complete shock.”
‘The nurse asked my husband, ‘Are you the FATHER, or just the one she’s pregnant with?’ I hated the disapproving nods, strange stares. I stopped going out in public with my kids. I felt inadequate.’: Mom shares candid reality of being mother to multiple kids
“Getting an abortion scared the crap out of me. I wanted to be the mother who had all her ducks in a row. The mother whose children were well behaved, drank organic kale smoothies, and began reading at 3.”
‘Sorry, kids. I wish I could make it so you’d never hurt, or have your heart broken. But the world doesn’t work that way.’
“If I made everything easy, you’d never know how to work hard. If I paid your way in, you would never know you are capable of accomplishing your dreams on your own.”
‘Why can’t we just fly to Heaven and bring her back down?,’ our son asked. We told our kids I had a baby in my belly, but she had a boo-boo on her head, and would not come home with us.’
“I had a strong mom instinct. First thing on Monday morning, I shut my ultrasound door and put the probe on my belly to check out the progress of the baby. Immediately, I knew something was wrong.”
‘I went to the room. Paint, check. Roller thing, check. I opened the door, and the strangest thing happened. Grief hit me, and it took me to my knees.’
“Then, the next strangest thing happened. My teenager appeared. She sauntered in, checked out my work, paused, and then asked if she could help. My jaw almost hit the ground. I don’t know if she felt it, too. I don’t know if she knew we were missing something by not having her dad there.”
‘She yelled, ‘I want my baby sister back!’ There was no longer a baby in my belly, but a thick pad shoved against me like a band-aid.’: Mom grieves loss of angel baby, ‘I hope they feel their baby sister guiding them’
“My kids had no clue what was happening in that moment, but they saw mama fall apart. ‘I’ve had my lifeless baby in me for two weeks? How did I not know?’ I was empty, confused. I lay on my tear-soaked pillow while my two healthy kiddos ran around the house, wondering why mommy is still sad.”