“I am 32 years old. But when things hit the fan, like when I was crying on the bathroom floor, 8 months pregnant with a stomach virus, have you ever surprised yourself by uttering the words ‘I want my mommy’ above the age of 18?”
‘When I’m scared and hurting, and I’m reduced to a sobbing mess, there’s one person I want in the whole wide world. I love my husband. But it’s my mom.’
‘He’s here, he’s breathing, and he has a TON of hair!’ The joy only lasted for a moment. Our son was ready to shake things up at the hospital.’: Mother learns of son’s rare Cornelia de Lange syndrome diagnosis
“There was silence. She smiled, turned off the screen, and said she would be right back. I looked at my fiancé with tears in my eyes. ‘I knew it.’ They told us our baby would have some sort of syndrome, and we had ‘no choice’ but to continue with the pregnancy. I remember feeling angry at that, ‘no choice but to continue.’ As if they had already deemed his life to be unfit to continue.”
‘When Colton was 6 days old, I walked up to him when he was napping and found his top lip was blue and that he wasn’t responding.’
“Doctors were already prepping him for the incubator before I even could comprehend what was being said. We had to watch our son be hooked to a machine to get the oxygen his little body needed.”
‘When I was 18 years old, I had an abortion. The reasons were deplorable. I was in my first year of college, with a boyfriend I no longer loved. When I was 23, I had another abortion.’
“Before I could blink, I had an adoring husband, a 2-year-old and I was fresh off the ache of a miscarriage. When a recent layoff made insurance scarce and the price of genetic testing unreasonable, I went without it when I became pregnant once again.”
‘You guys did great. You did great 3 times,’ our doctor said as she laid out our sonogram with three little sacs. My mind was racing. Shock and fear set in.’
“Mike couldn’t speak. In fact, the doctor looked at him after we covered all the basics and said, ‘Dad, are you OK? You haven’t said anything.’”
Today My Daughter Ate A Magnet, And I Ended Up In The ER
“When I read horrific stories about children choking to death on bouncy balls, we became a bouncy-ball free home. When I heard of kids getting Shopkins stuck in their airways, we became a Shopkin-free home. 15 minutes into rest time, the twins came down the stairs yelling.”
‘He asks: ‘How was your day today, what did you do?’ You think: Well, I was woken at 7 a.m. while I was in blissful deep sleep by a loud bloodcurdling scream because the baby poo exploded.’
“To say there was crap everywhere was an understatement. The toddler was also angry because he could hear commotion and he wasn’t involved, so he started screaming too. Finally, ready to leave, woohoo! Victory! Except, I’m still in pajamas and I’m pretty sure I have poo on my top…”
‘Mom, we have to take them home.’ It was so hard to look at these girls and not cry. It was like looking into the eyes of my sister, eyes I had not seen in 8 years, eyes I would never see again.’
“The woman who had the girls was not at all family, but a friend from church. They had been removed from her care and were in a foster home. After we got off the phone, I panicked – what was I going to do?”
‘Michael got news something had gone wrong. I was being put under anesthesia immediately. He wasn’t thinking he would have to worry about me too.’
“I was in disbelief. I thought he would be taken away from me like the girls were. I didn’t want to get attached. Even with a giant belly at 38 weeks, seeing him move wasn’t enough for me to believe. I wanted to protect myself and prepare for the worst.”
‘He waited until we were driving home. Cancer. Stage 4. After, I call my dad and tell him ‘me too.’ My stoic dad cries, not for himself, but for me.’: Woman copes with the effects of cancer
“Looking back, there was ‘The Before,’ and then there was ‘The After.’ I am a stranger to that woman now. Loss happened to other people. Cancer happened to them. Until one day they are gone, and all that is left is the heartbreaking absence of their presence.”