“My mother was an addict. My senior year of high school it got bad. One day she called me from rehab and told me to get out. I was 17 years old. I packed my bags and have been on my own ever since. My world spiraled out of control. I didn’t know how to cope. The only thing you can ever control in your life is what you put in your mouth. So, I went the opposite direction. I would see how long I could go without eating. I was sick. I knew what I was doing was wrong.”
“I lived with a new family, but things weren’t so good there either. I wasn’t gaining weight and my day care was very concerned about me – a lot of people were, I guess. When DHS finally came to take me, I was found on the floor in animal waste. My new mommy seemed very excited to meet me. I felt safe and loved right away. My new family never left me alone.”
“I called my husband: ‘You have to leave work.’ I couldn’t find the right words, so I just showed him the ultrasound pictures. Three perfectly healthy babies. I felt like I was in a dream. We both sat there for what seemed like the whole afternoon. How would we manage this with his new diagnosis and 2 active boys who were already taking up all of our love and energy?”
“A lot of people think it’s just a ‘tube’ of sorts transporting nutrients to their baby. But…it’s so much more intricately designed than that!”
“In the coldest bedside manner alive, the doctor said, ‘There is no cure. If she lives, she’ll stop mentally developing at 2 months old. Here’s some paperwork. Any questions?’ I stared at him, my body slowly over heating. I told my husband to get me out of there. I looked up at the sky and thought, ‘Well, here we go.’”
“I hate to admit it, but having sex feels like a chore. I can’t be the only one? I felt like I failed. I would rather just sleep and be alone.”
“There’s something about ‘dating a widow’ that is so hard, and so intimidating for men. They struggle with the idea that a woman can develop feelings for somebody while still loving a man who has passed away.”
“I started to notice she wasn’t ‘just like her sister’ around 9 months old. She still didn’t have her first teeth, and was barely babbling any words, let alone noises.”
“The very cord that was meant to sustain her ended her life so abruptly.”
“I open the fridge, over and over, to prove to children there is always food. I attend IEP meetings and I advocate for kids. But you know what else I do?”
