“I finally gave in and made the call. I cut the doctor off. ‘My water just broke.’ Right there in the middle of my kitchen. His tone quickly changed. ‘Get to the hospital ASAP.’ We were snowed in, at the worst possible time. The woman at the desk asked me, ‘Are you pregnant?’ I wasn’t sure how to reply. Do I explain, ‘Yes, I am in labor with my dying son,’ or just let it alone? They wheeled me into the operating room. ‘Oh you just had a baby! Congratulations!’ Those words stung very deep.”
“We went on vacation to Disney World. I got the flu. Looking back, I’m so glad they had that time together. Just a girl and her dad, taking on the world. When we got home, he couldn’t walk without help. The ER doctor thought that he was having a reaction to Tamiflu. He looked just as shocked as I was and said, ‘It’s everywhere.'”
“This wasn’t the first time I was met with bitter and awful remarks at the size of my family. I took a deep breath and put my phone away for a while. I’ve grown a thick skin at the words people use to describe us. But this one stung. She didn’t know we lived in two tiny trailers in our backyard while our home was being rebuilt after the fire.”
“Immediately our midwife called in the doctor. Within 3 minutes of meeting our precious Oliver, he was taken off my chest and over to the incubator. I didn’t know how to feel. My midwife was still trying to get me to stop bleeding as I struggled to see my baby. There was no time to process, research or pray. Here he was, our firstborn. We had no idea how to be parents, but then to throw in a special needs child, we were numb.”
“A man sat next to my daughter on the bus. It wasn’t busy, yet he chose the seat next to her. She stood up, moved over to me. ‘Aw, you don’t need to be scared. Cat got your tongue?’ He leaned in close. I felt her press into me. ‘She doesn’t want to talk,’ I explained firmly. ‘You should teach her some manners!’ he admonished me. He spluttered something along the lines of ‘back in my day.’ Everything about her body language screamed STOP, but he wasn’t listening.”
“We fluffed up the coat and zipped it up snugly on her petite frame. She twirled, danced and giggled inside the purple puffs. Then she stopped to look up at me, so sweet, so pure. It struck me that she couldn’t actually see herself. She wasn’t looking in a mirror. I felt the tears pooling behind my eyes.”
“It was 3 days after my 18th birthday, I stood in my bathroom screaming in horror. I was pregnant. Of all the stunts I’d pulled in my teenage years, this was by far the worst. What was even worse… I didn’t know if the baby was my boyfriend’s, or if I’d gotten pregnant by a guy I had a fling with in school. I hadn’t told my boyfriend there was a chance the baby wasn’t his. I was so ashamed I could hardly look him in the eyes.”
”A feeling came over me that my dad would not pass away if I was there. I was his little girl and he was my hero. 15 minutes later, he was gone. The first Christmas without my dad, I remember thinking, ‘Just smile.’ I also carried a water bottle with me everywhere, because my dad had once told me as a child, ‘if you drink water, you will calm down and not cry.”
“I instantly felt guilt seep in as I recalled telling my husband he had ‘nothing to worry about.’ After all, I was the one with the fertility issues. Others put their foot in our mouths with unwanted advice: ‘Just relax.’ ‘There’s no rush.’ I sat on the toilet lid, uncovered my test. I felt a flood of confusion wash over me. ‘Call the clinic!’ I broke down to my husband. I was at my wits end.”
“One year, I made a wish list of a few things I wanted, one of which I never received for Christmas. I didn’t ask about it though, because that’s ungrateful. But my mom brought it up. After all the hullabaloo was over, she came over and hugged me.”
