“Jon and I have been married for 9 years, and together we have 4 beautiful children. From a very young age, I knew I wanted to be a mother, but I always pictured becoming a mother through adoption. Jon has always been incredibly supportive. When we were dating, we had conversations about my heart for adoption.
Jon and I got married in the spring of 2011, and that summer, much to our surprise, we found out we were pregnant with our first child. We both have always wanted a large family; Jon is the oldest of 3 siblings, and I have 1 older brother. We never discussed specifically how many children we wanted, but Jon would often joke and say, ‘I want 12 kids.’ After having children and experiencing the insane love I feel for my babies, my heart for adoption just grew more.
After having our 3rd son in 2015, I felt like there was never going to be the ‘perfect time’ to adopt, so I started looking into different options. At that time, our kids were 5, 3, and 1. I was a stay-at-home mom, and Jon helped run a small family business, so we did not have the financial means to privately adopt. I remember as a little girl dreaming of flying to another country and adopting internationally. That was before I knew there are so many children locally who need a loving home.
As I did research and talked to friends who had adopted through foster care or were a resource family, I immediately knew I wanted to get involved; however, Jon and I both felt like we ‘couldn’t handle’ being foster parents. We started our licensing process with the hopes of getting placed with a child who we could adopt. Jon had recently made a career change and was right in the middle of a 6-month paramilitary police academy (I told you there is never a perfect time, ha!).
Once we finished up our licensing process, we found out we were pregnant with our 4th child (we were, again, very surprised!). We told our RFA worker we wanted to keep our licensing current, but receiving a placement would be on hold for a little while.
After our daughter (4th child) was a few months old, we renewed our license. We had so many people try to talk us out of renewing our license, but all our friends and family were so supportive. Through prayer and education, we felt like we were open to becoming foster parents. The thought of being able to love a child and give them a safe and loving home, even if it was temporary, pulled at my heart so much! Jon again was supportive, and the kids loved the idea of possibly having a child come to love with us, even for just a little while.
In early summer of 2019, we renewed our annual license and switched from ‘adoption only’ to foster care. Less than 2 months later (I still remember the exact moment), we got a call. ‘Hi Bethany, this is __________ from Mary Graham Hall, do you have room for a placement?’ We had just packed up our house and were moving in a week. I explained this to her and asked for any details she had. She said, ‘Newborn. Actually 2 days old. Can you take him?’ ‘Yep! Yes! Wait… let me check with my husband (who was sitting next to me).’ I asked his thoughts, and he immediately said YES! Less than an hour later, I was driving to pick up our son. I first had to go to the children’s hall, show my ID, sign a paper. Then, they gave me a little bag of clothes, diapers, and formula, and I drove to the hospital to pick up the sweetest, most beautiful newborn baby boy.
We were sure we would not have him long. I was sure the social worker would call me within a few days to tell me he would be taken back to his birth family, and I was okay with that. Every day as the kids fell more in love with this sweet baby, we kept reminding them we were not sure how long we would have him for but would love on him as long as we could. After learning more details about his family situation, we learned reunification was not likely going to happen. I was ready to hug birth mom and let her know I was rooting for her. A healthy reunification was the ultimate goal. Unfortunately, in this case, that has not been possible, so we have moved to adoption and are 100% ready to give this sweet boy a loving forever home!
Our sweet boy turns a year old this month! This last year has by far been the fastest year of my life. In our adoption process, we have experienced quite a few delays, and the adoption will likely not be final for another year, but in the meantime, we are loving on our little man and pushing for a relationship with his birth family.
If you have ever considered becoming a resource family (foster parent), I can promise you it will not be easy, but it will absolutely be worth it! If you are feeling like I used to, like you ‘couldn’t handle it,’ I think that shows you would be great at it. Kids need attachment. They need to form bonds, and they need adults to come alongside them, even if it is for a short time. They need someone to show them stability and love. I am willing to risk a broken heart for that. Are you?”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Bethany Davis of Northern, CA. You can follow her journey on Instagram or her website. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
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