“So this happened today. My husband was driving home from work, he is totally fine, just a stupid accident. I was in a meeting when it happened at work and didn’t realize I didn’t have my phone on me which is funny because my phone is basically my fifth limb and when it’s away from me for more than five to 10 seconds I start to shake and twitch and not even in a good twerky-type way.
Anyway when I got back I realized I’d missed like 14 calls and there was a text message all in caps that said ‘ACCIDENT PLEASE CALL NOW’ and my stomach fell all the way into my sensible work heels and my mind went all the way to the worst case scenario and then a little due south into crazy. It wasn’t pretty. I will spare you the details, because that’s not important. What IS important is this:
You see, my husband and I have been fighting all week. Not over anything big or important or heavy, just the kind of normal everyday sh*t that chips away at two people trying to make a whole big life together: the kids, the house, the bank accounts, the entire livelihood of six people and everything they encompass. The usual. Life is hard.
And my first thought was ‘Jesus, Nick if you go and die on me while I’m mad at you I’m gonna kill you,’ and let’s not get into the scientific and biological inaccuracies in my logic because that’s not the point but rather, the point is this:
NONE OF THE STUFF I WAS MAD ABOUT EVEN MATTERED. Not then. Not when my phone rang 14 times.
God, you guys, things can change in a hot metal-on-metal moment, we know this and yet we forget, we have to because otherwise we would be walking around all twitchy (and not in good way) all of the time.
But today I remembered. And now I’m reminding you, just in case you need it.
That thing you’re mad about? I’m not saying it’s not real, I’m just saying it isn’t everything. It isn’t this. It isn’t the thing that you’re gonna want to remember, forever, if god forbid something happened and you didn’t get to say:
I’m sorry. I love you. I’m so glad you are still here with me in this infuriating imperfect life we’ve built.
Hold your people a little tighter for me tonight. Maybe forgive someone. All I’m saying is, you never know.
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