Why I’m Saying No To Visitors After The Birth Of My Next Child

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“After taking my first child home from the hospital, we had ALL the visitors.

My parents, in-laws, parent’s friends, cousins, and friends.

Our apartment was a revolving door those first couple of days, AND it was a lot for a new mother.

Still, I went along with it because I didn’t want to offend anyone.

So, through the hard that comes with being postpartum and learning about my newborn, I had to force a smile.

But soon, I’m going to give birth for the fourth time.

And I want to let you in on a little secret that I wish someone told me the first time around.

It’s okay to say no to visitors after birth.

So, this time around,

I’m spending no energy on who wants to visit us, or who wants to take the first picture with the baby.

Because I want our new baby to spend the first few days of her life in the arms of her siblings, my partner, and me.

To have a chance to slide our pinkies into her small newborn hand as she curls her fingers around it.

To come together as a family and marvel at tiny toes and small cries.

To let everyone feel their feelings.

To have their meltdowns and regressions.

And not have the eyes of others watching and making the transition harder for them.

This newborn isn’t here to please others.

She’s here to join OUR family.

So, if we say no, and need some time, don’t take offense.

It’s just what’s best for OUR family right now.”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Danielle Sherman-Lazar of New Jersey. You can follow her journey on Facebook and her blog. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.

Read more from Danielle here:

‘Everything’s going to be alright,’ we whisper. She can swoop in and make it all better, but she doesn’t have superpowers.’: Mom says ‘we’re humans that struggle too’

‘Her hard may be little compared to your hard, but she has reason to feel overwhelmed, and she deserves your empathy.’: Mom says ‘push judgement aside, no one’s having an easy time right now’

‘We can’t forget each other. Us is where it started.’: Mom urges ‘give grace’ to your partner, ‘Your entire family will feel it’

I’m A Mother Who Calls Her Mom Every Day

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