“You know what’s crazy? Every time I leave the house, to go anywhere, and leave the kids with my husband, I treat him like a babysitter.
I make sure snacks are ready, I lay out pajamas, I ask him three times if he will be okay. I take an extra 15 minutes to leave to run down things for him.
And when I go out to said place, someone will ask, ‘Is hubby watching the kids?’
Now, when he goes out, he says, ‘Okay babe, I’m going…’ and I say, ‘Okay’ and he leaves. THAT’S IT. He doesn’t lay out snacks, he doesn’t give me a list, he doesn’t text me every 5 minutes to ask if I’m okay.
And not because he isn’t amazing. Nope, quite the opposite. Because he knows I’m a functioning adult and I know – it might sound a little crazy to people but here it goes – he knows I’m their mother.
I’m their mother, but you know what peeps? He is their dad. He helped create them. He was there when they were born. (And hopefully there when they were conceived) Without him, these children wouldn’t have existed.
It’s actually crazy that because I’m their mother it’s automatically assumed that I must do it all, be with them all the time, and treat my husband like he’s doing me a favor by taking the kids he made and continuing to be a father to them while I dare to live a life.
And it’s not my husband who makes me feel this way. It’s just this thing where women are assumed to be the nurturers and the baby keepers. This is plugged into us so much that we even make our husbands believe it. If I hang out the laundry, there’s no standing ovation. I don’t say loudly, ‘Hey guys! I hung the clothes today!’ But if my husband does it, it’s, ‘Oh what a good man!’ … and I even thank him… I mean, they’re his underwear on the line out there, why can’t he hang them?
We need to stop this crap, really.
We are emasculating men and treating them like little boys and in turn putting an enormous amount of pressure on women. We are saying men can’t do anything and they aren’t capable, and women don’t deserve to be anything or have any other identity but a mother.
Now don’t get me wrong, there are some men who are an additional child, who expect their wives to do it all. And to them I say, step it up mate… you have pubic hair now, it means you’re an adult and it’s time to share that responsibility.
But let’s change the narrative. Mommy is a parent, daddy is a parent, and together, we are responsible for our children. And babysitters are someone you pay $25 an hour when you need to go out, eat a meal without someone banging forks on the table and spend the whole night talking about the same kids you just left. Okay?!
Dads are capable co-parents, I mean seriously? Just look at mine acing it.” 😉
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Laura Mazza of Mum on the Run, where it originally appeared. Submit your story here, and subscribe to our best love stories here.
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