LJ Herman is a former editor at Love What Matters and lives in Colorado. LJ is a concert, ticket and technology enthusiast. He has seen the Dave Mathews Band over one hundred times and counting.
Why Tears Are The Best Gift You Can Give Your Grieving Friend
“Your tears validate their pain, their loss, in a world that has most likely ignored it.”
‘No, Mommy! I don’t need a potty!’ The kids erupted in giggles. I should’ve been suspicious LONG before. Holland had been consuming juice boxes and popsicles for HOURS, y’all.’
“I go full-fledged panic mode. Something is amiss. I can smell it. Holland: ‘I DONT NEED A POTTY!’ Ben: ‘BAHAHAHAHAHHAA! She doesn’t need a potty, Mom! Our clubhouse ALREADY HAD a potty!’ Golden Retriever: *whimpering slightly* I climb up the ladder. My children are pointing to… A dog bowl.”
‘You’re the kind of woman I always wanted. If you weren’t my daughter, I would marry you.’: Woman overcomes father’s sexual abuse, ‘My past doesn’t define me’
“My father made me feel guilty about it. He said I would destroy our family. That he would get deported to Mexico and my family would lose everything we worked so hard for. He told me to say I made it up because I was a rebelling teenager angry at my father. So I lied to them, I told them exactly what he told me to say.”
‘He said, ‘You can look like a wholesome American beauty, or you can look weird and androgynous. We want to wipe all of the wholesomeness out of you.’
“I started counting every calorie, I ignored my hunger, and I’d work out without eating much or anything after. I’d weigh myself whenever I could sneak into my parent’s bathroom. The scale dictated my happiness, the size of my clothes measured my worth. Hopefully I can sustain this starving myself thing for the next ten-ish years, I’d think to myself.”
‘I got a text from my mom. ‘Hey Crystal, give me a call when you get a chance and the kids aren’t around.’ I knew right away it wasn’t going to be great news.’: Woman recounts mom’s terminal cancer diagnosis
“I went to the only place I knew I could actually be alone, and able to talk without little ears around. I sat in my car, in the driveway and I dialed my phone, my mom answered, and we had the conversation. The one that you never want to have.”
Dear Parents, Thank You For Guiding Me Through Life’s Hardest Moments
“I’m sure somewhere in my teenage heart I was thinking… game on. Then things went from bad to worse . I promptly did what any teenage girl would do… burst into inconsolable sobs by my locker in the hallway of our high school.”
‘They said your child was being very loud. You knew what I was going to ask. You saw the table I just spoke to pointing at you. I got to your table and you looked at me.’
“I know what I was supposed to say when I went to your table. I was supposed to politely tell you to please not have your daughter yell. I was supposed to offer to move you to another area. I was supposed to offend you by not offending you… I did not do any of that.”
‘Where is Gabriel?’ I remember screaming my boyfriend’s name ‘Gabriel!’ but no reply. My sister found me and said, ‘You are okay, they are coming to help you’ that night was the most confusing and heartbreaking of my life.’
“I saw myself laying in the grass listening to my sister screaming my name looking for me. ‘Marcela! Marcela! I remember her screaming, ‘I’m here but I cannot move!’”
‘I found myself gasping for air. It did not matter how much I tried to breathe in, it felt as if nothing was going inside my lungs. A few days later I developed a bit of a cough. I could have died while on the mountain.’
“It took nearly 2 days before a helicopter arrived. 2 days of freaking out in subzero temperatures. I spent the entire time in a room where various people would pop their head in to make sure I was still alive.”
‘I said ‘I don’t want to live anymore, my kids deserve better than this, I should have never had them and dragged them down with me’ I wanted a lifeline. I wanted that chance of hope.’
“But instead I got ‘you should feel so lucky! You are blessed.’ Imagine telling yourself you’re so worthless, you’re not deserving, that you literally mess everything you touch and feeling guilty for all of that, like a tumble dryer in your head, swirling around and then someone says, ‘be grateful’”