“My mother passed away just before Mother’s Day, and just before what would have been her birthday. Now, Mother’s Day without a mother weighs down on me each year, a heaviness on my chest. It’s not a sharp pain. It’s an empty feeling that’s hard to shake.”
“We had already arrived at the hospital to let her know we forgave her. The nerves were high. ‘Who are you?’ the nurse asked. They were surprised to see us. We contemplated leaving, but received a text: ‘Come back and meet your son.’ We were in complete shock.”
“Within a week of getting a positive pregnancy test, I could barely function. This darkness was scary and not something I had the tools to combat. It was like I was gone, and there was no magic solution to get me back.”
“We knew the symptoms would get worse. That one day, the smile that made my heart flutter would lose its spark. We were on ‘borrowed time.’ The parademics tried to resuscitate him. His heart stopped beating 3 times. Until his very last breath, Lucas made sure we had the time we all needed to know he was at peace.”
“I didn’t answer right away. I wanted to listen. He went on to say, ‘I remember when I was little mama and Cooper had it. I couldn’t figure him out. I used to think he was from a different planet because he screamed all the time.’ He sighed. ‘I just wish sometimes it would go away so we could talk.'”
“I don’t tell you that even though we are careful not to watch these awful videos of unarmed people getting shot, your children are showing them at school. That my son has said the words ‘I can’t breathe’ when seeing a police car. I need you to love them like you love your own sons, because my mama heart cannot handle another man being shot that looks like my brothers, cousins, uncles, and sons.”
“I always get comments, looks, and shocked eyes when I say that. The fact that I don’t assume he is going to grow up and marry a woman is shocking to many people.”
“Without a full-time job weighing me down, I was going to be the domestic goddess I had always dreamed of becoming. A cookie-baking trophy wife who worked out regularly, kept a beautiful home, and had a fiery libido. His life would get SO MUCH BETTER. Needless to say, I am none of those things.”
“Those first few weeks, I feel like we were all in denial. I know I was. My practical self found its way to bargaining. I’m not going to lie, I did convince my wife to let us get the trampoline. Give yourself a little grace.”
“Last year my mother and mother-in-law spent a combined eight weeks living with my family as we prepared for the end of my daughter’s life and grieved her afterward. I’ll survive the day, because it is just that, one day and I’ve survived much worse.”
