“I proceeded with my plan to be Susie Homemaker meets Carol Brady. But no one was around to witness it. I was with another human all day, but felt horribly unseen. I was over-touched, but not talked to enough. I’d been constantly moving, but never really exercised my mind. I often found myself staring at the clock, willing the magical sound of the garage door to arrive.”
“I was horrified recently to find out many fully-grown women in my life didn’t know all the names for their own anatomy! As ADULTS, they had never learned. My children are 5, 7, and 8. They know all about consent, menstruation, sex, pedophiles, puberty, and more. In our family, we view these conversations as a ladder to safety. I’d rather them know the facts than to ‘learn’ from the playground or internet.”
“He was a super chill baby and we thought we had it MADE. I started to notice the other little boys’ interactions with their moms. I began to get worried. I didn’t think anything was different about Landon at first, I just thought I was not a good enough mom. I thought I wasn’t teaching him these little things well enough. This was our first child and we didn’t know any different.”
“About a week and a half after the church fast, I got the shock of ALL shocks — another positive pregnancy test. ‘It looks like you got pregnant sometime between January 13-15th.’ The EXACT DAYS of the fast.”
“I was labeled an ‘attention whore.’ Things took a turn for the worst. The urgent care doctor kept asking, ‘Can you tell me your name?’ I was unable to speak. I kept trying, but only jumbled words came out. I started to panic. After the diagnosis, she replied, ‘Well, I can put you on birth control.’ I said, ‘That doesn’t address what’s causing this. What can I do to fix this?’ She grew increasingly annoyed. I broke down right there. It felt like an absolute robbery to have to leave that exam room.”
“I was staring at the biggest shock of my life. But multiples don’t run in either of our families, so I knew it was unlikely. The fact they were mono-mono twins gave them a 50% chance of not making it to birth.”
“I noticed it first in my wedding photos. I didn’t even want to have pictures hanging around my house because I didn’t like the chubby arms and wide face that glared back at me. I have only 2 pictures of my baby bump during my first pregnancy. I was so uncomfortable that I didn’t want any photos of my bare belly those 9 months. There was a dress I found that covered my body well and made me look ‘okay enough,’ so I bought it in 4 colors. I knew something had to change.”
“We were hit with the bomb. ‘She definitely needs surgery,’ the doctors said. I was sick to my stomach. My baby girl has never even been to the ER. She’s always been a very active girl that cheered, danced, competed. How was this going to affect her? ‘This will be the roughest 8 hours of your life while she is in the OR.’ He would end up being right. I was numb the whole time.”
“We do not mean to devalue our kids. But we do it. Every single day. There are too many kids, too many broken families. But the thing is: it matters how you move them. It matters if it happens on their birthday, or if you forget a favorite stuffed animal in the shuffle. That nobody in their new home knows how they like their eggs, and there are no pictures on the walls but biological family. These things send a clear message: You’re invisible. You don’t matter. You’re a throwaway kid, now.”
“Seven years after Chad had his accident, I walked up to his house. I had never done work like this before. I was young, nervous, and had no idea what to expect. All I knew was he needed help and I needed work.”
