“I crawled to the bathroom. I couldn’t stand up without blacking out. I was paralyzed. I was supposed to be getting ready to go off to college with friends and I suddenly found myself unable to get out of bed. The wheelchair made others roll their eyes. ‘You don’t need that,’ they said. ‘Faker.’
“I remember always being alone in my room, barbies in hand, my parents screaming profanities at each other. ‘Where is all the money? How could you have spent it all?!’ My dad had an expensive drug habit that kept him awake for work. As a child, I learned that money meant I was invisible.”
“Things started to take a darker turn. I wasn’t allowed to go outside alone. He spread lies to my friends and family. When I gave birth, he wouldn’t let me see my child. He called 911 saying I was a danger to the baby. He got full custody.”
“He often told me, ‘You are too damn feisty.’ Well, I knew I had to stand up for myself. For almost 19 years I picked my battles.”
“Rylee wanted to get closer to the other kids and went forward on the step more than she should have and slipped in. She was completely engulfed. I could see about half an inch of the top of her head. Without hesitation, I dove in after her. The current was taking her away rapidly. I could barely keep my head above water.”
“Every single day, I feel resentment, sadness, frustration. I reminisce about my lost freedom. The days I would wake up with energy, pull out my to-do list, and get everything done. The days when I could hop in the car and run a quick errand, take a nap, or shower whenever I wanted. The days I could set BIG goals and actually attain them.”
“My heart stopped. It took the firefighters an unreasonably long to arrive (light years in mom panic mode). My son’s hairdresser came racing to the scene. And then there was a random mom who stopped and stayed with me. My husband made it in record time across town.”
“The village you need to raise a baby felt more like a ghost town. I had no clue what I was doing. There was endless crying, anxiety so severe I didn’t leave the house, stretch marks, flab, puffiness. I despised it all. All I could think was, ‘It has to be better than this.'”
“Jaymie was still and floppy. I grabbed her and started touching her face, opening her mouth, looking for any sign of what was wrong with my little girl! I remember opening my balcony doors, seeing the air ambulance, and screaming again. The police entered my home and I curled into a ball on the kitchen floor as they announced the time of death. What the hell was I hearing? I wrapped her in her Peppa Pig blanket and just stared, hoping and praying she’d just look up and smile at me. But no. She was gone.”
“This all seemed too good to be true. I kept my guard up. When I went to his Facebook page to check his relationship status, I found something else. I sat up in bed and stopped breathing. I stared at my phone. ‘No,’ I cried. The words came out of my mouth as though someone else was saying them.”
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