“Our nursery sat untouched. I couldn’t open the door. There was no need for 3 burping pillows. But, there was one box that sat in our basement for nearly 2 years. I held my breath as I opened that final storage box.”
‘What do you do with all the ‘stuff?’ It’s gut-wrenching for parents who lost a child. The dreams of a baby in the nursery are no longer viable, and now you are left with ‘stuff.’
‘My father had an operation. The tall, strong man was shaking uncontrollably. The tubes made him appear unhuman. But he was my dad, and I was drowning.’
“I got a phone call. It was late. I was advised to get on a plane. Dad would not make it through the night. While holding onto his hand, I tried to talk to him, but I could not. All the things I hadn’t said. All the things I hadn’t told him.”
‘He thought he lost his wedding ring. We went back in, couldn’t find it. I asked him again where he thinks he lost it. ‘I don’t know. I just heard it hit the ground.’
“He was confused. He was tired. I couldn’t even be upset. ‘We will find it. It’s ok.’ My heart said we would. My brain knew we wouldn’t. Right then, I accepted he was going to die, and he was going to do that without his ring.”
‘He was her strength, her protector, her everything – until he wasn’t. Nothing, absolutely nothing, prepared us for the affect it would have on Dad.’
“He started calling at 4 a.m. He was extremely agitated. Panicked. He told us we have to come get him – NOW! The father we know and love is almost unrecognizable to either of us.”
‘It’s time! NOW!’ Everything was a blur. My mind racing, I was carrying someone else’s dreams.’: Surrogate delivers woman’s child after meeting couple that ‘felt like fate’
“I was pushing while nurses were rushing to break down the bed, my husband and a soon-to-be dad on each side, and a soon-to-be mom gloving up to help deliver HER baby. I had the happiest, most uncontrollable tears.”
‘I broke. I didn’t expect it. I didn’t know the bad days would be like THIS.’
“I didn’t eat. Didn’t drink. A day where taking a moment completely set someone into a rage.”
‘I play out the details of that final weekend in my head. Struck by how quickly it was all over. Just like that, she was gone. Gone forever.’
“It intensifies on November 8th. That is the day my soulmate came home for Veterans Day weekend. It was a Thursday evening, as it is this year. She kissed me goodbye, then my life was turned upside down.”
‘Do you want to tell me about her?’ I’ll never forget the way you leaned in, just like we were friends, and asked me about Dorothy.’: Mom’s heartfelt thanks to nurses for ‘bringing her back’ after newborn daughter’s death
“Thank you to the nurse who dressed my baby and took her picture. Thank you for whispering to me your story about your own child who was born still. Your presence felt too good to be true.”
‘This is the face of a momma who had a rough night, and then had a rough morning. Who is having a hard time forgiving herself for yelling. Who feels guilty, but isn’t entirely sure why.’
“Give yourself some grace, change your thoughts from ‘I can’t’ to ‘I will,’ and dry those pretty eyes. You’ve got this.”
I Thought My Child Had ADHD—Turns Out, It Was A Treatable Sleep Disorder
“Children should not breathe through their mouths. Not while awake, not while asleep. Never.”