“We were having identical twin girls. My husband and I were overjoyed. But our twins did not develop their brains. We lost both our little girls. Because I am a teacher, I had to write to all of my students’ parents about what happened, asking them to explain it to their 5-year-old children. There was no belly. I had to mutter the words, ‘They’re gone, we lost them.’ It leaves behind scars, fears, and triggers.”
“My boys (14 and 10) can confidently navigate self-checkout, withdraw cash from an ATM, pump gas, make phone calls with confidence, order groceries, manage an Excel budget, order an Uber, etc. I refuse to send them into the workforce without basic skills.”
“‘Let mama throw on some clothes and put makeup on.’ Some days, I embrace the chaos. I laugh it off. It’s fine. This was not one of those days. I felt the tears welling in my eyes. There I was, day 3 of dry shampoo, on my knees in my 6-year-old’s closet 10 minutes before we had to leave. My toddler sitting atop the kitchen table, spilling milk from his brother’s cereal while the dogs licked the sticky floor. The words came from the other side of my bedroom door. I stopped frantically searching for a bobby pin. I just stopped.”
“They have a beautiful relationship even though they never met in this life. There have been times when we drive past the cemetery, and without any prompting she waves and says, ‘Hi Sissy,’ then tells me her Sissy is in that cemetery. Their relationship goes deeper than I even know. It’s something more. I mean, obviously. She was seeing babies in the cemetery when she was too young to have any understanding about where we were or why.”
“When I was about 23, I got my robot leg. I did wear dresses but I didn’t like to wear anything too tight on my butt because you can see the edge of the prosthetic. I hated it. I was so ashamed of showing that part of my body. The shamefulness slowly disappeared, this summer when I lost my husband in a motorcycle accident.”
“I’m often asked the same question. ‘What was your reaction to the news?!’If you really really want to know, I was ecstatic. I knew I had cancer. Something lit up in me like a light bulb. A vision of me on my death bed. I remember a tear dropping in remembrance of my mother. The joy of knowing that after losing her at age 14, I could finally meet her again. There I stood, 25, receiving the best news of my life, standing in a bus, in pain, weak.”
“Let’s just say, passion wasn’t an issue in our relationship. We were headed to the movies and had a conversation that I might be pregnant. He asked me to take a pregnancy test in the movie theater restroom. I just swung my arms in a rocking cradle motion as I walked towards them. My family started asking if we were done. My mom even told me I needed to make John an appointment for a vasectomy. Funny story.”
“She could see I was avoiding eye contact. She showed up to my house, took my baby. I stood there, staring at her and my baby. Like, ‘What do I do now?’ She looked at me and said, ‘We are fine! GO TAKE A SHOWER. I know what I’m doing!’ Sometimes the kind of love I need is this.”
“‘My entire adult life, I’ve been a father. Now I am not sure who I am without them,’ my husband said, sitting across from me at the restaurant. I wasn’t ready for this. I failed to anticipate this. ‘Slow down. You are fast-forwarding,’ you might say. And you would be right. I need to slow down.”
“In our home, we’re currently raising a 17 year old, 14 year old, 7 year old, and 5 year old. For the greater part of my time as a parent, I’ve been parenting children at nearly every possible stage of development, emotionally and physically. It’s confusing, gut-wrenching, and beautiful. All at once. All the time. Every day. It’s knowing I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world, while also wondering if I’m getting any of it right.”
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