“Get you a friend that will drop what she’s doing and come to you.
Being a new mom is HARD. You second guess every single thing you do. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t cry all the time. Not because I’m sad, but because I’m sleep deprived, overwhelmed, and then add postpartum emotions.
It’s A LOT.
I suffer from severe anxiety and OCD. I have the hardest time asking for help. I’m one of those ‘I will just do it myself, so I know it’s done right’ kind of people. But sometimes it comes back to bite me in the rear; I allow myself too much of a load at times. As a new mom, I was terrified. I had no idea what I was doing, or what was right or wrong. My anxiety was so bad I didn’t even want to leave her to take a shower — even if her own father, who is perfectly capable of caring for her, had her! When I would take showers, I would just cry, because I was so overwhelmed with doubt and fears of, ‘Am I doing this right?’ I’m my biggest critic, and at times, I’m too hard on myself.
I hadn’t showered in two days, I was covered in spit up, my sweet husband was at work (working a 14-hour shift), and I was just overwhelmed. I needed a shower. My baby wouldn’t let me put her down. If I tried to put her down she would scream. I had a hard time managing my time when it came to self-care and caring for a newborn. My baby had just thrown up all over me for probably the fifth time that day. As I was cleaning it up, I spilled my water. Just spilling my drink alone was enough to send me into tears. Next thing I knew, my phone was ringing. It was Becca, wanting to FaceTime. I didn’t even want to answer because I was sobbing.
I pulled myself together the best I could to answer, but she could see that I was avoiding eye contact once we were on the phone. She said, ‘Gabrielle, look at me.’ That’s when I just burst into tears and told her I was struggling. She said, ‘That’s it. I’m coming over. I’m taking the baby and you are going to eat and shower!’
She showed up to my house and took my baby. I kind of just stood there, staring at her and my baby. Like, ‘What do I do now?’ She looked at me and said, ‘We are fine! GO TAKE A SHOWER. I know what I’m doing!’ And she kind of just shooed me away.
As I was eating dinner, I glanced over at my friend just loving on my baby. My baby was OKAY! I just had to relax and let someone in. So glad I did. I had to sneak a pic!
Sometimes the kind of love I need is this. Just showing the hell up, no matter how many times I say you don’t have to.
Thank you, Becca for loving me and my sweet girl. Thank you for letting me cry to you, and thank you for making me do things for myself from time to time. Even if it’s just to take a shower and eat.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Gabrielle Lynn Dunn, 30, of Glenpool, Oklahoma. Follow her journey on Instagram here. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
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