“I proceeded with my plan to be Susie Homemaker meets Carol Brady. But no one was around to witness it. I was with another human all day, but felt horribly unseen. I was over-touched, but not talked to enough. I’d been constantly moving, but never really exercised my mind. I often found myself staring at the clock, willing the magical sound of the garage door to arrive.”
“Four of us who grew up together used to take a girl’s weekend every year. Laura was the first to get married and the first to have a baby. We were sitting in our hotel room as she pumped her milk. The rest of us, not yet moms, were mesmerized. That crazy machine was singing, ‘a little bit more, a little bit more.’ If you pumped, you know what I’m talking about. She was actually going through all of this while on VACATION. We stared at her baffled.”
“He was a super chill baby and we thought we had it MADE. I started to notice the other little boys’ interactions with their moms. I began to get worried. I didn’t think anything was different about Landon at first, I just thought I was not a good enough mom. I thought I wasn’t teaching him these little things well enough. This was our first child and we didn’t know any different.”
“Show up. Wide eyes. Big grin. A hug or a high five. And if you’ve had one of those days when you really don’t feel like it…do it anyway. Your attitude sets the tone for the rest of the evening within 15 seconds of walking in the door.”
“About a week and a half after the church fast, I got the shock of ALL shocks — another positive pregnancy test. ‘It looks like you got pregnant sometime between January 13-15th.’ The EXACT DAYS of the fast.”
“I was labeled an ‘attention whore.’ Things took a turn for the worst. The urgent care doctor kept asking, ‘Can you tell me your name?’ I was unable to speak. I kept trying, but only jumbled words came out. I started to panic. After the diagnosis, she replied, ‘Well, I can put you on birth control.’ I said, ‘That doesn’t address what’s causing this. What can I do to fix this?’ She grew increasingly annoyed. I broke down right there. It felt like an absolute robbery to have to leave that exam room.”
“I was staring at the biggest shock of my life. But multiples don’t run in either of our families, so I knew it was unlikely. The fact they were mono-mono twins gave them a 50% chance of not making it to birth.”
“We were hit with the bomb. ‘She definitely needs surgery,’ the doctors said. I was sick to my stomach. My baby girl has never even been to the ER. She’s always been a very active girl that cheered, danced, competed. How was this going to affect her? ‘This will be the roughest 8 hours of your life while she is in the OR.’ He would end up being right. I was numb the whole time.”
“We do not mean to devalue our kids. But we do it. Every single day. There are too many kids, too many broken families. But the thing is: it matters how you move them. It matters if it happens on their birthday, or if you forget a favorite stuffed animal in the shuffle. That nobody in their new home knows how they like their eggs, and there are no pictures on the walls but biological family. These things send a clear message: You’re invisible. You don’t matter. You’re a throwaway kid, now.”
“Seven years after Chad had his accident, I walked up to his house. I had never done work like this before. I was young, nervous, and had no idea what to expect. All I knew was he needed help and I needed work.”
