“It wasn’t the day I got my driver’s license.
It wasn’t the day I got married or had children.
None of those things made me feel like an adult.
Truth is, I did a lot of adulting before I ever actually felt like one.
That all changed the day my mother died.
That day I became an adult.
The kind of adult that doesn’t have a mother.
That kind of adulthood can’t be ignored.
It’s the kind of adult that suddenly gains immense responsibility.
Instantly you have a new authority, one which you never wanted.
Losing a parent changes you.
You feel like an orphan.
The very person and soul that created you is gone, which means that portion of your being is gone too.
You are different, and you will remain different.
It’s impossible to be the same person you were when your parent was alive, walking around this world with you.
The world is now empty of one of the most important people in your life.
The world is now empty of all that they were and all that they gave.
Because of that, the world now feels empty, even if it’s still full of others you love and adore.
I became an adult the day my mother died.
I gained responsibility and lost a piece of my soul, all in the same second.
Maturity found me, as did heartbreak.
The day your parent dies, your future looks different.
Pieces of it are stolen from you.
New memories are no longer allowed.
It’s as if all of their love, wisdom, and guidance drift into your existence, the second they lose theirs.
You’re forever changed.
If you want to feel like an adult, wait until the moment you lose a parent.
Adulthood finds you immediately, and you are never the same.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Chelsea Ohlemiller of Indianapolis, Indiana. You can follow her journey on Facebook, Instagram, and her blog. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
Read more from Chelsea:
Grief Changes You—I Am Not The Same Girl I Was Before
‘To my ex-husband’s family: You didn’t have to continue loving me, but you do.’: Woman pens emotional letter to in-laws, ‘You’ve turned unfortunate circumstance into something beautiful’
‘Instead of packing the car for a fun weekend with grandma, we came here, to the cemetery. This is where we must visit her now.’: Woman loses mom, says we should ‘let grandparents spoil our kids while they still can’
‘I used to yell. It was the only way to get his attention. One day, I stopped. I simply whispered, ‘I’m leaving. I’m filing for divorce.’ He barely looked up.’: Woman urges ‘find a life loud in love’
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