“No one talks about the messy parts of miscarriage.
No one talks about the painful details.
No one talks about the cramping, the labor, the bleeding, the postpartum hormones raging; even without a sweet snuggly baby as comfort.
No one talks about the ‘products of miscarriage.’ The baby comes out of you just as it would typically… only much, much smaller.
The horrendous pain and wearing of what feels like diapers 24/7 for days, or even weeks.
No one talks about what you should do with the tiny, perfectly formed body you just birthed.
If it’s under a certain ‘gestational age,’ the decision is left up to you.
Do you bury it? Do you cremate? Do you toss it in the garbage?!
Do you flush if it landed in the toilet?!
What do you do? And why doesn’t anyone tell you these are choices you will have to make?
Why doesn’t anyone speak up?
No one should have to make decisions like this in a moment of extreme emotion, trauma, and pain.
No one should have to look back and wish they had done something differently. Wishing they’d known of the options.
We need to do things differently.
When I was pregnant with my oldest, especially after his labor and postpartum, I remember thinking, ‘Why didn’t anyone tell me it would be like this?’
And here I am again. On the other side, wondering why no one ever told me it would be like this.
So, I’m here. I’m standing up.
If you ever find yourself in this horrible place… reach out to me.
I will share the messy parts, the hard parts, the important decisions, moments of grief, pain, and healing to come.
I will speak up.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Annalise Ree Washburn. You can follow her journey on Instagram and her website. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
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