Someone you love spreading untrue things about you sucks even more.
I have had so many things said about me that just weren’t true and it hurt, but after a while, I started to laugh.
I didn’t laugh because the rumors were no longer hurtful.
I laughed because the people who would dare to believe those stories could never have known my character to begin with.
They didn’t love me.
They didn’t value me.
They certainly didn’t care about my feelings or the damage they could be doing to my mental health.
Those people who waited with bated breath to hear the next terrible thing I said or did were there for their own gain.
They were there to make themselves feel better about their lives.
Something in their lives was going horribly awry, so they took their focus off of themselves and reveled in the character assassination that took place.
I used to work very hard to make people believe me over the rumors that were being spread.
Then one day I stopped.
I don’t have that amount of energy to give away.
I no longer correct untrue stories about me.
If people want to talk about me, they can do it until they’re blue in the face.
I’ll laugh about the supposed shenanigans I got myself into according to the gossip.
I’ll tell my friends about all of the things I heard ‘I did’ that I have no recollection of, because what someone else thinks of me is not my business.
What someone says when I’m not in the room is not my business.
I no longer care what gossip is being said because if you can tell me what someone else said about me, but can’t tell me what you said to defend me, or better yet stop the conversation mid-sentence, then how can I consider you someone I want in my life.
People are going to talk.
It’s a fact of life that someone someday will say something horrible about you, but only you can determine how you respond.
You have a few options.
1. You can cry and wallow in self-pity.
2. You can call everyone that might have heard the gossip and try to correct the narrative.
3. You can laugh with a good friend about all of the stuff you didn’t even know you did, because you weren’t there.
Not everything needs your correction.
Not everything needs your apology.
Not everything needs your attention.
Stay true to who you are.
The people that love you, respect you, and know your character would never entertain something harmful towards you.
Know who your people are and hug them tight.
Lean into them for the reminder of who you are when you start losing sight.
Let the people talk.
Your people know you.
Surround yourself with them.”
Read more from Jacalyn here:
‘My oldest son has said, ‘The school officer treats the black kids meaner. It gives me anxiety.’ I’d never tell you that at the ripe age of 14, my son ‘fits the description.’: Mom says ‘my mama heart breaks for reasons you’ll never fully grasp’
‘I saw you pushing a stroller with a tiny pink princess backpack hanging off your shoulder, your daughter giggling hysterically as you made silly sounds.’: Woman pens ode to black fathers, ‘Your love is as endless as your potential’
‘I don’t really like black people, but you’re different.’ I shrank inside myself. I couldn’t change my skin, but I could lose every identifiable piece of who I was to blend in.’: Woman recalls experiences with racism, ‘I’m no longer a scared little girl’
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