To The Woman Feeling Like She No Longer Belongs In Her Friend Group: Some Seasons In Life Aren’t Meant To Last A Lifetime

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“To the woman feeling like she no longer belongs:

A few years ago I felt the sting of rejection within a group of friends.

There wasn’t a falling out, but a less than obvious fade away.

Ever happen to you?

I had taken one direction in my life, and my decision meant a ‘falling out of favor’ with them.

I noticed the conversation in the group thread stopped.

I noticed the pictures of the smiling women at dinners and concerts and weekend hangouts didn’t include me.

I noticed a distance, a feeling of not quite belonging.

And what stung most was not knowing why.

I didn’t know what I had done or what caused me to feel like such an outsider.

I started to feel awkward like I was often a topic of conversation instead of just a part of it.

Even to this day, every once in a while I feel that sting of rejection seeing them in a friendship that I didn’t quite make the cut for.

Years after our parting of ways, the rejection still stings.

And maybe in your own life, you too have felt that sting of rejection.


For what it’s worth, healing from the hurt has opened doors to relationships at the time I don’t know that I would’ve been ready for.

woman with her friends on the beach smiling and laughing
Courtesy of Katy Ursta

Looking back, I realize their rejection was really protection.

The season they had in my life wasn’t meant to last for a lifetime.

I didn’t understand it then, but I realize now where God was calling me to go, wasn’t the same path for them.

He was bringing people into my life that would help me step into that season.

And I think friend, the same may go for you too.

I’m grateful for their rejection.

I’m grateful for the lessons it taught me and the way it shaped me.

Although I didn’t have a seat at their happy hour…

I got something even better.

I know it might hurt, but I promise you, friend…

something good is going to come from it.

Just wait.

And in the meantime, I’ll be rooting for you.”

woman and her friends posing on the beach looking at the ocean
Courtesy of Katy Ursta

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Katy Ursta of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. You can follow her journey on Facebook and Instagram. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.

Read more Katy:

‘My grandmother always kept a whistle next to the phone.’: Woman shares touching life lesson from grandma, ‘Blow a whistle on anything that disturbs your peace’

‘Hey sister, wear the shorts. You see dimples, cellulite. I see a woman who deserves to feel beautiful in whatever she chooses.’: Woman urges ‘confidence looks beautiful on you’

‘I no longer sit at tables where I might be the topic when I get up. I used to think that’s just how women are.’: Woman reminds us ‘worth’ can’t be ‘determined or negotiated’ by others

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