“In the middle of those sleepless nights of waiting, worry, and prayer, I became increasingly curious about my family history. Little did I know the role it would play in my life when my son finally received a diagnosis.”
‘Do you understand what I am saying?’ she asked. I stared at her, trying to process. My oldest son, at 15 years old, fell suddenly ill. It began as a terrible rash on his arms and legs.’
‘A teacher called our daughter ‘lazy,’ put her outside, and forgot about her. We found her in full-blown panic.’: Mom creates ‘disability buttons’ for daughter with special needs, in tears after people ‘finally talk to her’
“My daughter called me from a store parking lot crying. She’d gone to the toy aisle and picked a Barbie. As she walked through the door, the security alarm went off. She was scared and didn’t know what to do. The security person came up to her abruptly and demanded a receipt. Her mind went blank. I watched videos online about a ‘special needs girl getting handcuffed’ at Walmart.”
‘The beds around me emptied and my eyes clouded with tears. I knew something was wrong. It felt like I was giving birth. I tried to muffle my cries.’
“My world seemed to be falling upside down. Human hands felt like knives. I pushed back, knowing something was not right. The doctors and nurses were completely puzzled.”
‘Asheville?,’ he asked. I smiled. He promised it would be our next destination together. That dream died the day he did.’
“I am finally going to this special place, but he is not taking me there. Instead, I am taking him. It is there on that mountain I will let him go.”
‘The self-talk has to stop. Motherhood is not sunshine and rainbows. It’s mundane many days. I lose my patience. I screw up. I have unwashed dishes in the sink, crumbs on the floor.’
“There’s guilt. Pressure. Unrealistic expectations. How many times have you lain awake going through the to-do list of tomorrow while thinking about everything you didn’t accomplish today? All of the ‘should haves’ replaying in your mind. How are we ever going to get ahead when we are stuck in the guilt of yesterday?”
‘I woke up to his friend’s girlfriend dragging me across the garden, screaming. But why? Whatever she’d seen had terrified her.’: Woman escapes abuser to finally marry ‘amazing man’
“She dragged me to the front door and I can remember feeling panicked. Where was the key? We were locked in, slipping on the blood pouring from my face on the laminate floor.”
‘I noticed the truck speeding up. I knew I was going to hit him. ‘This accident could have ended very differently.’: Girl survives near-fatal car accident thanks to seatbelt, ‘I have forgiven the man who caused my pain’
“I wanted to take his hand and say, ‘It’s okay…I forgive you. I know you didn’t mean for this to happen. But it did. And it’s okay. We’re okay,’ but I never did.”
‘I dropped to my knees, a horrible sensation ripping through me. ‘My whole arm just went numb.’ Life changed in a heartbeat.’: Woman diagnosed with Neurofibromatosis II urges ‘surviving means finding hope on the bad days’
“I had never been a ‘sick’ person. I had only gone to the hospital for labor. I didn’t even have a cavity! Now, my kids were crying. My husband was on the phone with 911. I froze. ‘It’s happening again,’ I screamed. My arm moved wildly on its own. Everyone began to scramble.”
‘I laid in my hotel room bath, sunk my head underwater, closed my eyes. I wondered what life would be without me in it? I cried.’: Woman stresses importance of mental health awareness after abusive relationships, suicidal thoughts
“He’d be on dating apps talking about the women he’d hooked up with the night before. I still loved him. I’d confront him. ‘Why do you do this?’ It would always escalate into a big argument. Our neighbors called the police to our house because of the noise.”
‘During my pregnancy, my dad came to me in a dream. He was holding a baby boy wrapped in a pale blue blanket. He walked towards me. It’s the only memory I have of them together.’
“We had chosen to wait on finding out the gender until birth, but I knew when waking up that the little boy inside me would be a boy. I’ll never hear you tell him you love him or sing him to sleep. He will never see you on the sidelines, cheering him on. But I know you were taking care of him before it was my turn to.”