LJ Herman is a former editor at Love What Matters and lives in Colorado. LJ is a concert, ticket and technology enthusiast. He has seen the Dave Mathews Band over one hundred times and counting.
LJ Herman is a former editor at Love What Matters and lives in Colorado. LJ is a concert, ticket and technology enthusiast. He has seen the Dave Mathews Band over one hundred times and counting.
“Kyle Aaron Huff was at the rave. This was the same after party that Luke and I would have been at. All I wanted was to stay with Luke, but I knew I needed my mom more. He took me to the airport, we said our goodbyes, and I left. I looked back and saw him looking back at me, and I almost stopped. But I knew I had to keep going. In a span of 2 years, I lost the man I thought I’d marry, and the man who was perfect for me.”
“Have you ever been stuck at the grocery store talking to a Nancy because she asked about your 9 month old, and you told her he still wasn’t sleeping well, hence the reason you had so much coffee in your cart? You’re met with a horrified expression, ‘Your 9 month old, still isn’t sleeping?!’ GUYS. We have got to stop.”
“I couldn’t look at my husband when he got home. I couldn’t look at him for days. I was so ashamed of myself, and I was terrified he would blame me for what happened to our sweet Paxton. I hid in our bedroom. One of my best friends came over unexpectedly, brought dinner, crawled in bed with me, and let me cry to her. She didn’t say much. She didn’t have to. I was angry at her for showing up, but I am so thankful that she did. My heart needed her presence.”
“Tell me again how breastfeeding my toddler is just for myself? Doing loads of laundry with a child hanging off my breast is just for me, right? Breastfeeding a child swinging monkey-like while your nipple is in their mouth is what us self-absorbed mothers are constantly longing for! No one is breastfeeding their toddler for themselves. It is for their child alone.”
“My mom chose to birth me during extreme hardship in her life. I was conceived out of abuse, my biological father passed before I was born. She lived alone, with no family close. Regardless, my mom said to me, ‘As soon as I heard your heartbeat and saw you on the ultrasound, I knew I loved you.’ My mom chose sacrifice when she chose life for me.”
“She tilted her head. ‘What did they say at the hospital?’ They said the baby was gone. She looked at me, looked at my husband, and smiled. She pointed at the flicker on the screen. The slightest light, like a little firefly. ‘That right there, that little flicker is your baby’s heartbeat’. I cried. ‘That baby is a fighter, they are hanging on with everything.'”
“‘Would you be interested in a 15-month-old boy with medical issues?’ I stammered out, ‘H-h-hang on, lemme call Emily!’ A tall man turned around, holding a beautiful little boy. The toddler was completely passed out, wearing a too-small onesies, and smelled like cigarettes. I took him into my arms. The moment his skin touched mine felt like electricity flowing through my entire body.”
“You had a huge fight with your partner. You wonder if you are being abused, or if it was ‘just a mistake.’ You watch them chat and laugh with your partner at holidays and school functions, and you know they will never believe what happens behind closed doors.”
“Waiting rooms and doctor’s offices remind me of her – my first baby. It didn’t feel ‘common’. It hurt. Don’t tell her ‘you’ll have another one.’ She’s trying. She needs to know it’s okay to feel.”
“I lived in 12 different homes from ages 12 to 18. I had few stable adults in my life. Scott became my track coach my sophomore year. I threw emotional fits. He casually said, ‘I think you can win state.’ Then he paused and took in a deep breath. ‘If you do what I say.’ His devotion to me was unwavering and father-like. Not just as my coach, but as a dad.”