“‘Mama, can you rest with me?’ She points to her chest and has me lay my head down. Oh, the sweet sound of her breath. Her soft hands gently stroking my hair as we lay in silence. Her hands comforting and soothing this restless heart of mine. One night, the air will be silent, only filled with a hug and a kiss goodnight.”
“I’m still in postpartum clothes, stained and stretched. I’m still wearing my hair whichever way is easiest, messy and practical. I’m still anchored at home, under him and on top of nothing.”
“She asked us to be Elijah’s parents over a meal. I was scared but determined as I wrote my cell number down on a scrap piece of paper and pushed it across the wooden table.”
“’Are they trying to turn us off to being foster parents?’ My anxiety was through the roof. The judge made eye contact with us both. ‘Wow.’ We could not hold back our tears.”
“Reese was snotty, stuffy, and not her usual self. The following day, we noticed a button battery missing in our home.”
“It looks like feeding your baby on the couch for an hour and leaving a dent in the cushions when you leave, if you leave. It looks like ignoring the mess around you and somehow always making more. It looks like constantly being poo’d and spewed on. You may not feel alive right now, but you are keeping someone else alive.”
“The first few months weren’t always bad, but I felt lost. I was a shell of who I used to be. During all this drama and pain, I failed to get to know our son.”
“On top of a pandemic, I heard the words I’d hoped to never hear: ‘Your cancer is back.’ It seems my son had been talking about how much he missed me on his school bus each time I went to the hospital. Mrs. Hammonds went above and beyond to make us feel so special and loved.”
“I felt cheated from having a good father who’d watch me grow up, dance with me at my wedding. Father’s Day may be extremely hard to get through, but you’re complete with or without. You are enough.”
“The doctor said, ‘Someone up there really is looking down on you. Someone up there really wants you to be a mom. There are THREE healthy heartbeats beating here.’ SORRY, WHAT?! That was the moment life changed forever.”
